It Could Cost You Your Life

It could cost you your life…

As my teachers talk in class at New Tribes Bible Institute and I think through what I’m learning, this is what I keep coming back to; the realization that if I continue to pursue overseas missions that I could be giving up everything I have ever had. I’m not just talking about the promising and prosperous life in the States that many friends and family seem so sure I’m guaranteed to have if I stay here. I could be giving up the very breath that I breathe. People can, and do, die on the mission field, and I can’t just say something along the lines of, “Oh, that can’t happen to me”, because it could happen to me, as it could to any other missionary on the field. Trying to reach people who have never heard the Gospel of Christ could easily cost me my life.

Ant the more I’ve thought through this, the more I’ve come to realize that I am okay with it costing me my life. Why? Because it already has.

My life is immaterial, nothing more than a breath in eternity. Yet Christ came down from His perfect heaven and died for mere breaths; sinners like me who deserved eternal hell. He took our punishment upon Himself while we rejected Him, and to accept that gift of salvation, all we have to do is believe in Him and what He did for us.

I’ve come to the realization that I want to please the God who did that for all of us. I know that that won’t make a difference in being saved; my works are not what cause my salvation. I’m grateful for the work that He has already completed, and as a follower of Christ I want to live for Him. And if I truly follow in His footsteps, that means I die with Him.

The thing about that is this; I have died with Him. Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me.

This is why I have come to be okay with the idea of losing my life for this. I no longer belong to myself, I belong to Christ, and nothing better could happen to me. God opened up my eyes to what is Real, and what is Real is Him. I find my identity in Him, and He died for me. Therefore, I will live for Him.

I’m not perfect, nor do I show Christ perfectly. I am still human and still struggle with sin. However, He continues to grow in me and though I know I will never be perfected as long as I live in this human body, He is faithful, as He always has been.

He knows what He has planned for me. That doesn’t mean His plans are going to be easy or simple. That doesn’t mean I won’t get sick or always be safe. What it does mean is that I can rest in Him and His faithfulness. I can rest in the fact that here I serve Him and when I die, I will be with Him.

And that’s something else- I’m going to die someday anyway. It’s a fact of life; no one makes it out alive. So why shouldn’t I spend my life sharing the only thing in this life that has kept me alive. I attempted suicide once, and it is by His grace that I’m here. If it wasn’t for God and what He’s taught me, I have no doubt that I would have tried again. He has given me joy that has stopped me from a second attempt and He reminds me that, though in myself I have not worth, because of the gift of His Son, I have infinite worth. Because He gave me the gift of life, both spiritually and physically, my life is forfeit to His will. I have no qualms about sharing His gift with those who have never heard and have no chance to hear unless someone brings His Word to them.

The best part is that He has given me new life, and it’s His. So yeah, it will cost me my life, and it already has.  

Who Will it Be?

“If not us, tell me who will be, like Jesus, like Jesus to the least of these” –Audio Adrenaline; Kings and Queens

This is a line from one of my favorite songs in the world, but the meaning of it never took full shape until I listened to it today- the first time I heard it since I was an intern at an orphanage in Guatemala. All of the sudden, the lyrics took a new form.

I thought about the work I did this summer, serving the Lord and loving those kids that I miss so much now. I thought about how I did my best to show them Christ’s love for them and that they had worth and a purpose in Him. I couldn’t have done that without going.

There are children all over the world that have never known love or compassion. They’ve never felt the warmth of a hug or seen the gentleness of a smile. They’ll never come to know Christ because no one is there to show Him.

Yet so many of us still sit here, safe at home on our couches, thinking that someone else will reach out to these precious children. We may sponsor a missionary or even a child (And don’t think I’m discouraging those things, they are fantastic) but we never go ourselves. I’m not saying that everyone is called to other countries but there are children facing this problem over the whole world and there are probably some in your home town that you could reach out to. But there is still that excuse- that someone else will go.

What if every person said that?

There would be no one left to go.

There would be no one showing Christ to the lost.

There would be no one to love those broken children.

We as Christians are called to show Christ’s love to everyone. Now whether God is calling to local ministry, ministry within your country or worldwide ministry doesn’t make a difference. We are all called to some type of ministry and when we feel prompted to reach out to the least of these, we need to respond. We can’t just say that someone else will do what God is calling us to. If we won’t shine the light of Christ in the world as God’s children, then who will?

One other line in this song that I am particularly fond of is this- “And just like a drum I can hear their hearts beating/I know my God won’t let them be defeated”. It is true that God won’t let them be defeated by their circumstances, but so often what He uses to rescue them is us.

We have to be willing to follow Him into whatever He has planned.

We need to be ready to be used however He sees fit.

That could be going to a foreign country and working on an orphanage like I did. It could be fostering or adopting a child. It could be as simple as reaching out to that kid that is always alone in your town. The main thing is doing whatever God is leading you towards, no matter the cost.

Because eventually, we’ll run out of people who can say that someone else can do their job.

God has a purpose for every one of us individually. Follow Him and He will never lead you astray. Following His plan for you (I speak from experience in this) not only will change the lives of those He sends you to, but it will change yours as well.

(On a personal note) I know I am not the same since I got back from Guatemala, and I couldn’t be more grateful. I can’t wait to see what He has planned for me and I am ready for Him to send me wherever He deems fit.

Basically, I'm encouraging you to reach out; to show Christ's love however you can and wherever you are lead. There is no greater call than to be Christ to the world and, as Christians, it is a call we all have. 

Leaving Home

I wrote this a while ago, before I left Guatemala, but at the time I was hurting too much. So I’m posting it now, a week or so later and I’m still struggling just as a note.

[So this is a little less lesson and a lot more of just what’s going on. It’s Thursday as I am writing this and I’m leaving Guatemala tomorrow night. And it is breaking my heart. Last night was my last church service here and Katie asked me to speak. So I did. I’ll try to write what I said as close as I remember it.

Hey guys,

I just wanted to thank you guys for the time here and for allowing me to love on you guys. It has been incredible and I’m different because of it. I’ve learned to love more openly and honestly because of you guys.

When I came here, I was not a loving person and I was going to do things here the same way I did it back home. I was going to love ya’ll, but from a distance. I wasn’t going to love you strongly enough to get hurt or so that I would get attached… but… (This is where I started choking up and shaking and almost crying) but I couldn’t do that. From the very first week, I loved you. All of you.

I’ve grown to love every single person in this room. Every one of you means so much to me and it’s going to kill me to leave you. It is breaking my heart and it hurts so much, but know that I wouldn’t change a single moment. I’m praying that God is going to send me back here next year, but I don’t know if that is His plan for me yet. If it was my choice though, I wouldn’t come back next summer. I wouldn’t have to because I would never leave. I’d stay here with all of you.

So I guess what I wanted to say is thank you again. For letting me love you all, and for loving me back. It’s been a blessing. Thank you.

I wish that I had said more, but I couldn’t. I was on the verge of tears and my voice was starting to crack. But every word I said was true. I have learned to love deeper and more sacrificially than I ever have and I will love these kids my whole life, whether God sends me back or not.

It is breaking my heart though. When I started working on packing to go back, I sobbed. How can I leave these kids that have become my world and this place that has become more of a home than anywhere else?

There is one especially that every time I see him, I want to cry. God has laid this one specific child on my heart and at first, I thought; God, You’re crazy. This kids hates me. He glares at me all the time and yells at me (in Korean so I really couldn’t understand him [His old house parents were Korean]) and whenever I have to watch the boys’ house, he makes it clear that he doesn’t want me there from how he treats me. Finally though, I surrendered to His will and started focusing on loving this particular child. At first it was difficult, but I kept working on it and praying for him and after about two weeks, he started to not be so rude towards me, and when he would yell at me, it wasn’t so vehement, and more teasing. If I laughed about it he would smile at me instead of glare. He started picking on me the way the other boys that liked me did and he really started to grow on me. The other day he even came up and hugged me and started talking to me in slow enough Spanish that I would mostly understand. So after making so much progress with him and him finally liking me, I have to leave

Every single child in this place is precious to me. I love them all and nothing in me wants to leave. I don’t want tomorrow to come and ruin all of this. 

Needless to say, emotionally I’m a mess right now. But what I said to the kids last night still stand- despite the pain and the heartbreak, despite the tears, I wouldn’t change a moment and I am so glad that I learned to love these kids fully and completely.]

Now I am back in the United States and I have been for a week and two days… And it feels so… wrong. Wrong to have left the place that I loved and began to think of as home and wrong to have left those kids I love. Still God put me in Guatemala for a reason and He sent me back for a reason. I don’t know what that is, but it know there will be a purpose. I just hope that He chooses to send me back to my Guatemalan home soon.

Loving Dangerously?

So a couple of days ago (Wednesday) my perspective was a little skewed. I wasn’t in a great place spiritually and I had a post all ready about it. I since have come out of that place and had a change of perspective. I was just going to delete what I had written and not post it, but then I decided that I would show where I had been and then talk about what I have realized since then.

Here’s the original post from Wednesday-

[I’m going to admit right now; this is going to be a little different than my normal posts. Normally I post a lesson or something that God has been teaching me, but today this is more of a confession of a struggle of mine that has really been pushed in my face these last couple of days.

When our newest intern came a couple of weeks ago, he and I had a good conversation in the first few days. He talked about what he called “loving dangerously”. By that he meant loving even when you know you are going to get hurt and sacrificing yourself for others.

I thought it was a good theory, but not something I do. I love people, but from a distance. I don’t let myself be close enough to be hurt, because if life has taught me one thing, it’s that everyone leaves eventually. Loving others deeply and allowing yourself to get close only means pain for yourself. That’s how I’ve been the last couple of years. It’s how I think.

But it’s not how I’ve been able to operate here.

I didn’t even realize it, but the other people here started to steal my heart from the first week, especially the kids and the other interns. I fell totally in love with the kids and was finding new and very close friends in the other interns. I was opening up totally to loving others and I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was loving dangerously.

I didn’t realize it until today (Wednesday) when one of the other interns had to go to the hospital. I was scared for and worried about her. I was hurting for her and that’s when I realized how attached I was to everyone here.

I ended up sitting on the roof once again and thinking. I was hurting and mad at myself for it. I kept saying in my head; you know what happens when you get attached to others. You get hurt every time. You’ve learned that in the past. How can you be so stupid to let it happen again? Why open yourself up to this again?

Those thoughts were unrelenting. I was mad at myself for leaving myself vulnerable to this and honestly still kind of am.

I know that it’s far too late to distance myself from the others here, especially the kids. Once I get attached and love someone like that, I can’t stop. And that scares me. I’m leaving in only 9 days from when I’m writing this and I know that it’s going to tear me apart. I have already thought about leaving and how much I hate the idea; how much I want to stay with these children I love so much. Sometime during this month I started thinking of this place as home, and even referring to it as such. After a trip to Antigua with the other interns, I remember saying that I couldn’t wait to get home and sleep. And I meant it. This place has become a home to me because of the people. That’s not normal and very frightening.

And here’s the struggle part- normally in my posts, I’ve overcome something. I’ve learned something and have been able to press on. Not this time though. This time I’m still questioning, still wondering. Even as I type, I wonder whether it was worth getting so attached to the others here. This time I don’t have an answer. I know that as a Christian I am supposed to have those deep relationships, supposed to love sacrificially, but in my heart it’s just not reconciling. Are those deep relationships worth the pain that is inevitably hand in hand with them?

Sorry for the difference in my post. This is what I’m struggling with and I want to be totally honest about it.]

Since then I have realized that, though it’s hard, that is the kind of love we are called to. How could we not be? Christ had that kind of love for us and He gave everything for us. He experienced separation from His Father and that was more pain than we could imagine. He did it because He loves us.

When the intern that had surgery got back, I was so joyful. I was so happy to see that she was ok. I found that the joy of loving others was worth far more than the pain.

In short, God reminded me that being selfless and loving sacrificially is what we’re called to do as His children. We will experience pain in this life, but it will pale in comparison to the joy of when we hear those words-

“Well done, good and faithful servant… Enter into the joy of your master” Matthew 25:21

I think hearing those words is worth far more than worrying about any pain in this temporary life. 

God's Timing is Perfect

So last Wednesday, I had a pretty incredible day all around, but I’m only going to focus on one part of it right now.

I have been struggling with the idea of suffering in the world and it had been more difficult in this last week. As a couple of the interns and I sat on the roof on Wednesday, we walked about the reasons for suffering, but we never really came up with anything that was comforting for us.

I hadn’t been feeling well, so when the others left to go play soccer, I stayed up on the roof to rest. I picked up one of the books that my youth pastor had given me; Timothy Keller’s The Reason for God. This book argues many of the common arguments for why the God of the bible cannot exist and refutes them. (Read it sometime. It’s good).

The particular chapter I was on was talking about the argument of how the God of the bible could not exist in a world with so much suffering. Needless to say, considering my mood that morning, I was curious. The particular chapter had multiple convincing arguments, but there was one in particular that I hadn’t ever heard before; that our suffering now will increase our joy in the future. Keller used the example of how when we lose something (and we think it’s gone forever) that thing will be loved and much more appreciated if it’s found again. We only truly appreciate something when it has been lost and then found again.

I thought it was really interesting and I had never heard that take on it before. I took the book back to my room and set it on my top bunk. As I turned around, I saw something glinting under my bed. It was a ring and I bent down to pick it up, thinking that it might have been the ring that one of my friends had mentioned that they lost. But it wasn’t. It was my ring. My class ring.

I had lost this ring in Florida, on a school trip a few months ago. I had been sure I was never going to see it again. There was literally no way that this ring could have gotten from Florida to Guatemala short of the power of God. The clothes I brought here, along with the suitcase, none of them were anything I had had with me in Florida.

It just cemented what I had just read in Keller’s book. I had been sure I was never going to see this ring again, and when I found it, I almost cried. The ring reminded me of how God can use suffering ultimately for His good, and also how His timing it perfect.

Your Worst and God's Best

“You’re worthless… you aren’t as good as the rest of them… they don’t really want you around; they’re just trying to be nice… You will never measure up… you’ll always be second best... no one wants you around… you aren’t doing any good here.”

Those were the words I heard inside of my head today as I laid on the floor in tears today. It wasn’t my voice, and I knew it. It was the voice that I thought I had banished from my head close to three years ago; the same one that lead me into depression, pushed me to cut myself and almost caused me to end my own life.

I haven’t heard that voice in so many years, and I’ll admit, when it emerged, I was scared. I had thought it was gone from me forever until now. And after I recovered from the shock and fear, I thought; why now? Why when I’m here doing what I’m supposed to be doing and serving the Lord?

Then I realized that that’s exactly why it is happening; because I’m devoting myself to serving God. I am being a force for Him and to expect no opposition would be foolish. When you are devoting yourself to fighting for God, the enemy will not make it easy for you. I was reminded of that today. My most vulnerable point was struck and it hurt. As a matter of fact, on an emotional level it was excruciating.

However, the difficulty of spiritual warfare and the reminder of my past were not the only things that hit me today.

Just listen up for a second. This is where things get good.

I was reminded of God’s faithfulness to those who trust in Him and who cry out to Him.

As I lay on the ground, I didn’t even know what to say, but I knew I had to talk to Him. He was the only one who could keep me from the place I reached three years ago. There was nothing eloquent, nothing formal that I could say. It was simply “God, save me from this. Please God…”

At first nothing seemed to happen. I eventually found the strength to stop the tears and to walk out, but the voice still lingered. I tried to ignore it and decided I would go watch the soccer game that the kids were playing. I started walking toward the field and was stopped by one of the missionaries on campus. She asked me what was going on, and I told her, despite the voice fighting me. I told her that I felt worthless, that I felt life I couldn’t measure up to the other interns on campus and that I wasn’t anything like them.

That’s when she said something that the little voice didn’t know how to respond to. She said, “Rachel, you aren’t here to be David or Hannah, or anyone else. You are here to be Rachel. No one else is like you and God is using your individual personality to help in a way that no one else can.” She then reminded me of how I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God. And the little voice that had been nagging me suddenly went silent.

God used one of the other missionaries to reach me. He knew exactly what I needed to hear and used one of His people to show me that.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is just to put your trust in God, especially when you are being spiritually attacked. He is a good God, and as it says in Psalm 147, He is healing and understanding.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; he gives all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.” Psalm 147:3-5

Appreciation

I just came down from the mountains today as I am writing this (Which is a couple of days before it can be posted, lack of internet here) and it was such a spectacular view. Everything was beautiful and it just didn’t look real. It looked like it had to be a painting or picture. It was too perfect.

We were all just enjoying looking at it when one of my fellow interns made the comment; “Could you imagine if you couldn’t appreciate this? Like if you grew up here?” We all nodded and agreed with her, but it got me thinking. Isn’t that what we do a lot?

How often do we not appreciate what is in front of us? I know that so often I don’t. I spend so much time outside back at home, and the beauty around my just passes me by. If I take the time to look, I realize the woods I live next to is beautiful. The sky full of clouds, or the night time sky, it’s all incredible. But I am so used to it and never notice.

We are called to be content with the simple things of life. In 1^st Timothy 6:6-8, Paul says, “But godliness with contentment is great gain for we brought nothing into the world and we cannot take anything out of it. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.” We are called to be content with having only the necessities, but we still have so much more than that. Even if we merely have food, water and shelter, we also have the beauty of creation.

God didn’t have to give us the beauty around us, yet we still ignore it. We get so used to it that it just flutters around in the back of our minds, ignored. I guarantee, though, that if it suddenly just disappeared we would notice.

We always covet what others have and want so much more than we need, even though God has given us such things that we completely ignore. The creation around us is more glorious than we can imagine, if we only took the time to appreciate it.

Just go sometime. Go and look closely at the thing around you, the things you are so accustomed to.  It just might surprise you, if you look at it with fresh eyes, how beautiful it is, or how much things have changed. But you have to really look.

Appreciate what God has given you and be content with what you have, because you have even more than you ever realized.

Lessons From 30,000 Feet in the Air

If life is ever boring or you can’t figure something out or just in general if you want things to be different, I’ve always been told to look at things from a different perspective, and that’s exactly what happened to me today. I definitely got a new perspective on things, and I dare say that it was a higher perspective. 30,000 feet higher to be more specific.

(I’m on my way to Guatemala and was on a plane if you are curious). Anyways back to what I was saying.

On my flight today, I learned several things. I’m trying to figure out even where to start, so I guess I’ll just do them in the order I learned them.

First, I learned to trust more when God messes up my plans. My original flight got cancelled and I got all frustrated, but then we were able to schedule a flight to where my connection flight was scheduled to be and it ended up working that I would end up at the airport that I’m spending the night at around the same time that I would have gotten there with my other schedule. The nice part? I got to skip a connection flight, so it’s one less chance for my luggage to get lost. The better part? I ended up sitting next to a really nice woman that I chatted with on and off the whole flight. She was a Christian and when I told her about my internship, she was encouraging and I needed that. I would have never met her or gotten that encouragement with my original flight plans.

Second, I learned just how miniscule as people we are. As we flew up and I looked at the ground, the city looked like a kid’s play set. I could see roads and rivers, some houses and cars, but you know what I couldn’t see? I couldn’t see people. I knew they were there, hustling about their business, but I couldn’t see them. That’s what makes God’s love for us even more amazing- that He loves a species so tiny that they can’t even be see unless you are pretty close to the ground. He did everything for us, even though we are so tiny.

Third, I learned the value of God’s peace. The flight I was on was rather turbulent, so there was a lot of bouncing. I started to get a little motion sick, and I’ll admit, as I gazed out the window, I was feeling nervous. I didn’t like the bouncing and it made me uneasy. (I wasn’t the only one, either. A lot of people were shifting around and were clearly uncomfortable.) At one point I closed my eyes and put in my headphones, trying to block out everything. And as I did that, Hillsong’s song Still came onto my music, and it caught my attention. Here are the lyrics that interested me- When the oceans rise and thunders roar/I will soar with You above the storm/Father you are King over the flood/I will be still, and know You are God. I found it interesting, because at that point in time we were flying above some pretty black clouds. We were flying over a storm quite literally. And I realized that God was right there with us. I was soaring with Him over the storm in a very real fashion. That realization, as I began to talk to Him in a way I haven’t in a long time, brought me comfort. I understood what Paul was talking about when he wrote about how “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). God comforted me by revealing His presence to me and then by giving me His peace in a way I have never quite experienced it.

Lastly, God showed me His majesty and power (or a tiny piece of it anyway), and also how He connects things together in an amazing way. Before I got on my first flight, while I was waiting at that airport, I was reading in Job, specifically after God starts talking (Job 38-41).I made a single note in my Bible: The majesty and power of God… Woah. God is talking to Job about what He had done and it was awesome to me. And then as we were landing today, we had to descend from one of those storm clouds I was talking about. I watched the giant clouds roll past me and saw some lightning and God’s might hit me in a way it had never before. Those storm clouds rolled over us and I was able to watch them pass my window, close enough that if there had not been a window between us, I could have easily reached out and touched them. The beautiful and terrible storm revealed a piece of God that I don’t often think about. I know that He Is a powerful God, but I tend to like to focus on the loving part of God’s character. But He is so much more than that, and to be reminded of that was eye opening.

So, you could say I had an enlightening flight. Sometimes a perspective change is all that is needed, but with me, I guess it had to be a 30,000 foot change. 

A Short Deviation From My Normal Posts

It’s rare for me to deviate from my normal blogging content (In fact, I think this is the first time). However, I have something I wanted to share that is close to my heart.

I am a captain of a Relay for Life team. Relay is an event designed to raise money for the cancer research of all types. I chose to take on this responsibility after my mother died of cancer.

My mother and I had been very close, especially after she got sick. She decided to take on a team herself and captain it, and took me alongside to assist. Before every meeting we would go out to dinner, laugh and just spend time together.

(I actually wrote about the time after she got sick in a story format. If you go here you can read it. There are links to the next chapter at the bottom of every page)

But anyways, Relay is coming up this weekend. My team is trying to raise money, and I would appreciate any donation if you are willing to give it. You can donate here
I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading. 

The Goodness in Good Friday

As most people know, today we celebrate Good Friday.

 But where is the good in this day? Today was the day that our Great Savior was mocked and rejected. Today is the day that he was beaten and whipped. Today is the day that he was put on a cross and left to die. To the world today sounds like a dark day. It’s the day the darkness of humanity revealed itself and crucified the One who came to save it.

So where is the good in that?

Where is the good in the people, who merely a week beforehand were chanting “Hosanna” (Lord save now) as Christ rode into Jerusalem, turning one him and chanting “Crucify Him!” as Pontius Pilate asked what they should have him do? Where is the good in those people asking to have Barabbas, a dangerous criminal, released instead of Jesus? Where is the good in the people who took and divided his garments?

Where is the good in this day?

I’ll tell you where the good is.

The good comes in Jesus’ words “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). The good comes in Christ’s Words as He prayed to His Father, “Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). The good comes when Jesus uses His last breath on the cross to speak to His Father.

This is truly Good Friday.

The good comes in three days later, when Christ is raised and appears to His followers.

Jesus knew what He was doing when He came to this earth. He knew He was going to die and knew that He would be taking the sins of all mankind onto His shoulders till the point where God the Father could no longer look at His own Son. The good in Good Friday comes when Jesus died to forgive our sins.

Today might be the day that Christ died, but today is so much more than a death. Today is the precursor to resurrection Sunday; to the day that saved the world.

Good Friday was a dark day in the aspects of what happened to Christ and the suffering He endured, but He still went willing because He loved us.

So I hope as you all go through your day today that you take the time to think. It really is Good Friday. 

The Only One Who Won't Fail

Pain… anger… betrayal… Those are the moments I find myself at my lowest.

Those are also the moments God uses to remind me of Him.

It’s in the storms of my life that I have found God. The moments where I am broken and crying out to Him, asking for release, asking for help, or even blaming Him are the moments He carries me. He meets me where I am at. He knows how I feel and can take those problems.

I realize how lucky I am to have a perfect God as my friend and Father. I can turn to Him at any point. Even when I am hurt by those I considered to be my closest friends, He is always there, waiting for me to fall into His arms where I belong.

People will always fail you. No one is perfect, every person you let yourself open up to will hurt you. You will hurt others. It’s in the nature of being human. Relationships fail, friendships end, families break up. It is unfortunately the reality of this world. As soon as sin entered the world, the perfect relationships we were made to have were broken. We are still relational beings, and we still strive to have that perfection, but it doesn’t happen. Not with other humans.

The only One who can love us perfectly, who can fulfill our need for this kind of relationship is God. He is the only One who will be behind you every time you turn around. He is the only One who will never betray or hurt you.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have relationships with other people. We were made to. But we shouldn’t put our all into other people. That is only a way to get hurt. If you have a friendship or relationship where you think you’ll never get hurt, you’re wrong. You have to be aware that other people are as imperfect as you are.

We have to be forgiving as well. Knowing that others are the same as you, you know you’ll get hurt. But you have to be compassionate. Look at Stephen in Acts 7. As he was being stoned by those around him, he cries out to God. And he doesn’t ask to be saved or for God to take revenge on those killing him. He says, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” I want to be like this. I hold grudges when someone hurts me deeply. I want to see them hurt like I was. This is so wrong on my part. Christ died for me out of love, and I am supposed to show that love to others. How am I supposed to be like Him when I have this in my heart?

The only way to make a change in this aspect is to cling to Christ. To learn from Him. He is the only perfect person and I need to see my relationships with others through His eyes.

I get so tired of being hurt by others. So many time I just want to give up on others; to just isolate myself so I can’t be hurt once again and so I can’t hurt anyone else either. But I can’t do that and show Christ to the world. I just cannot do both.

There are things that are so much more important than my personal pain. Yes, I know I’ll get hurt. But I also know that I have God to turn to when I am.

No person can hurt me any more than God can heal me, and I have to trust in that. I have to know that when I am feeling alone, betrayed and abandoned that God is right there, taking care of me in ways I never even imagined.

So it doesn’t matter what people do to me. I will always have Him to fall back on. And I will always trust in that. 

A Stiffed-Neck and Adulterous People... Not Just the Israelites

When I am reading in the Old Testament, I am always astounded by the Israelites, and not in a good way. God promised them blessings if they obey His commandments and do not turn aside to other gods. And time after time, they turn away. They are referred to as a “stiffed-neck” and “adulterous” people multiple times, and trouble come to them because of it.

In my conceit, I always considered them to be such a foolish people. How could they continue in this pattern and face the same consequences over and over again? Then, when I what reading recently, I got a serious reality check.

I am the same way. I turn my attention off of God, worshiping other things in my heart, and I certainly face consequences for it. When I walk in my hardness of heart, I hurt both others and myself so badly. When I walk with God and am focused on Him, I have joy despite the circumstances, I guard my tongue, and I am not nearly so temperamental. When I am close to Him, I have His peace and he takes care of me. You’d think I’d learn, wouldn’t you. I realize I am just as foolish as the Israelites, as are many Christians today.

We drift away from God and then wonder why our hearts are so burdened and what has changed.

We blame God and ask Him what He’s doing, even though it’s our fault. Just like the Israelites.

Luckily, that wasn’t the way their stories ended, and it’s not how ours end either.

Eventually it heir oppression, the Israelites would always end up crying out to God. And He always sent someone to rescue them and to lead them back to Him. He never ignores their cry, despite the numerous amount of times that they turned their backs on Him.

The same can go for us. Even in our idolatry, God will rescue us out of it. He forgives us and brings us back.

It’s not an easy process, but we are God’s people, as the Israelites were. We are His children, and just as children who have gone astray, we need to be disciplined and brought back to Him.

It says in Proverbs 13:24 “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but whoever loves him is diligent to discipline him.” We should not be resentful when He chooses to discipline us. We should be grateful because it is a show of His love and affection for us, as it was for His people in the Old Testament.

He is a patient God, but that is not to be taken advantage of. He disciplines us to draw us to Him, not to allow us to go in whatever path we deem is the most enjoyable for ourselves. He wants what is best for us, and that is walking in step with Him.

I was really humbled when I realized all of this. I think I’m so great, but in all reality, I’m not at all. I am not better than this group of people that I once thought so foolish. The more I read the Old Testament, now that I see my faults, the more I understand the hearts of the Israelites. It doesn’t excuse them, and it certainly doesn’t excuse me. It just reminds me to not be so prideful, because I am no better.

So many people when they think of idol worship think of making carven images and worshiping that. So they think things along the line of “Well I don’t do that. I’m not like the Israelites.”

I used to think like that too, until I realized that idols aren’t always carven images, As a matter of fact, in our world, they most of the time aren’t. An idol is anything that we spend most of our time on and consumes our heart more than God. We don’t even really notice, but we worship these things all the time.

Here’s a few of my idols-

-Myself (This is my biggest)

-Friends

-TV

-Food

-Music

-Grades

None of these things are bad in themselves.  Actually, on their own, they are gifts from God, given to us for our enjoyment. The problem becomes when these things impede on our relationship with God. That’s when they become our objects of worship.

We need to focus more on God and less on ourselves. That’s what God wanted for the Israelites and it’s what He wants for us. He wants us to love Him above anything else in the world. And why shouldn’t we? After all, He has given us everything. We should love the giver, and not the gifts. 

Where's Your Light?

I love inspiring quotes. They lift me up and make me think in a better way than I was. They allow me to see the world from someone else’s point of view that I may never have considered before. They cheer me up and I can use them to oftentimes encourage others.

I have one quote however that really makes me think. It makes me hesitate, challenges me to think about how I’m living and what I’m living for.

The quote comes from John Keith Falconer.

"I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light"

On the surface, it doesn’t seem like much, but really look at it. Every believer is a light in the world and we are called to share that light with others. In Matthew, we are told to let our light shine before men.

This quote also goes right along with why I aspire to be a missionary. There are very few people here who haven’t at least heard about Christ or who don’t have any access to His Word. Even if they reject His light, they have a chance to accept it, because they can know it should they choose to seek it.

Other areas in the world don’t have this luxury. They have no light, no chance for any unless someone brings it to them.

“But Rachel, living in the darkness doesn’t sound fun or safe.”

No. It doesn’t. It’s scary and safety is far from guaranteed. But it’s so worth it.

Think about it, if the sun’s out and it’s already bright, do you waste the energy to turn on a light? Of course not. It’s a waste of power. You wait until the sun has lowered and you need to be able to see better.

Now if you think of life as a candle, all of the sudden, wanting to live in the darkness makes a lot of sense. In the light, another light is wasted. Life is wasted where it’s already bright.

I would rather live my life where it is useful and my light can shine bright and bring light to others instead of just showing people light that they see every day and shut out.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

I ask you if you will to think about not only just letting your light shine, but also about where you are letting it shine, and if you are letting it shine into an area where it is most needed. 

Just Slow Down

I have been seeing more and more the necessity of slowing life down for a while. The culture in America is so hectic and it can seem impossible to take time out of our schedules to do things like pray or read our Bibles.

And that is exactly why we need to make time.

The strenuous lives we lead here are not conducive to slowing down and just basking in the Presence of God. And if we don’t find a way to make that time the stress and worries of life will overcome us.

In Matthew 11:28-30 is says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

We are supposed to come to Him and rest with Him. How can we do that if we never take any time to be with Him?

Our souls are constantly in turmoil. It is so difficult to make it through this life and we cannot do it on our own. Spending time with God gives our souls the rest they need and will strengthen us to face the days ahead of us.

And we are supposed to learn from Him. I know that as I have been reading through Matthew, I have learned a lot from Jesus. And one of the things I have taken from it is how willing He is to follow what His Father leads Him to do. How many times did someone ask for His help, and He turned to help them, instead of focusing on whatever plan He may have had. He also took time to be with God. People may have been seeking Him and following Him, but there was more than one occasion where He would withdraw from the crowds to be alone with His Father.

I think that is something we can learn from Christ; willingness to sacrifice our time so that we can be with God.

I know how difficult it can be to manage time so that you can enjoy God’s Presence, even for a few moments. I’ve taken to getting up earlier so that I can spend time in the Word and in prayer, and then I also know that I get to school early so I sit against the wall and spend time with Him there before class. Even in small moments like this I find my rest in Him and He reveals Himself to me. I carry my bible with me almost everywhere as well. It sometimes gets in my way if I leave it on my desk around my schoolwork, but what a wonderful thing to be in the way. It’s a constant reminder of my faith and my God.

I love sleep as much as the next girl, and probably more than some, but I have not once regretted losing some to spend time with God.

Just because you’re spending that time with God doesn’t mean life will be easier though. I know my life hasn’t gotten any less stressful. However, I’ve found myself to be more joyful and patient with my life as I rest in Christ and learn from Him as He has commanded.

There is no one who is as loving or cares as much about you as God. I know that I have some really good friends, but I can’t always be 100% honest with them or always expect that they will love me no matter what happens. They’re human, just like me and have their faults. But I can be that honest and open when I am talking to God. I can tell Him anything and nothing I can say will ever make Him love me less. And besides, He already knows whatever I have to say anyway.

So what I’m trying to say is we really need to just take a step back and slow down our lives. Take time to be with God. Be willing to follow His plans, whatever they may be.

Hit the pause button on your hectic life for a while and set your mind on the one thing that matters more than anything this life has to offer. 

The Beauty of Creation

To me, there isn’t a much more beautiful time than when it’s night, the moon and stars are shining bright and it’s winter. If the night is still and the moon is bright enough, the snow shimmers exquisitely and I am in awe. Even though it’s cold, I could stay out all night just so I could capture the image in my memories forever. 

It’s nights like that that Psalm 19:1-4 truly come alive to me. 

 “The heavens declare the glory of God and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours our speech and night to night reveals knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words whose voice is not heard. Their voice goes out through the ends of the worth and their words to the end of the world.”

In verse 3, (There is no speech, nor are there words whose voice is not heard) the KJV is actually a better translation- There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard. Everyone can see God’s glory, because He has revealed it to us through His creation. It doesn’t matter what tribe tongue or nation you come from; He has shown Himself to us through what He made. 

“For his invisible attributes, namely his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.” Romans 1:20

I love this verse. Creation does truly reveal the power and nature of its Creator. How much power must He have to make everything that lives and exists in this universe? Try to wrap your head around that one for a second. I know I can’t quite figure that one out. 

And His nature. Wow. First of all, it shows how creative God is. Look at a rainbow. So many colors blended into a curve across the color. Look at the stars. There are millions of stars and He created every one and put it into its own specific place. Look at the natural phenomena that happen. The wonder of an eclipse, or the Aurora Borealis’ beauty. The God that made all of this is infinitely creative. 

It shows His love as well. Look at everything He has provided for us. He gives us food to eat in the form of both infinite numbers of plants and animals. He has given us nature to enjoy in all its forms and the four seasons, each one holding a different joy for us. He has given us water to drink and plants that can be made into medicines for the sick. He has given us to each other to build relationships with, to have families and friends to care for us and to take care of each other. He has such love for us that He provided literally everything we need to live, and given us gifts for our enjoyment. 

Every human being can see all of this. We can all see the beauty of the worlds that God created to point to Him and Him alone. There are such clear designs in the world and the universe. How could they have come about by chance alone? The blindness of the world befuddles me as I see everything that God has made.

And out of all this creation God chose to put the human race as His chosen vessels to proclaim His glory. I just can’t get my mind around that. Out of all the beauty He made, God chose to love the broken most of all. We are a broken race, and not just that, we are the race that cursed the rest of His creation. 

Adam and Eve were commanded not to do just one thing. They could do anything they wanted except eat from a single tree. 

“She took some of its fruit and ate and she also gave some to her husband who was with her and he ate.” Genesis 3:6b

They disobeyed the one command and thrust the whole creation into the shadow of it that it has turned into. You would think after that, God would have turned His favor to something else. But He created us, knowing this would happen. He magnified His glory in the world by giving us a Savior to rescue us from our sin if we would accept and follow Him. 

It’s so amazing that the almighty, infinite, all-knowing Creator of the world would choose to make us in His image, even though He knew we would fall. He gave us the free will to turn away if we chose to, and the freedom to come to Him and love Him. It’s because of His love that He did this and continues to hold us in the palm of His hand.

I don’t know about you all, but I know that meditating on this makes me more and more grateful for everything God has done for me and for all of His creation. 

Our Spiritual Family. It's Not Just in the States

You step through the door into a small, but crowded room. Eyes look on you, fear clouding them. But there’s something else too. Anticipation… Excitement… Zeal for a belief that the world around them rejects, condemns and is trying to destroy.

A man, the leader of this secret church, stands.

“Welcome, brother.”

You return his greeting, exhilarated to join your brothers and sisters once again. You sit on the dirt floor and look at the few pages that this group had access to.

 Only a few pages of the Word. But these pages hold life. They hold salvation. They are the most important possessions to everyone there. You all wish you could have more. Have the Scriptures in their entirety, but you don’t. You can only pray earnestly that God will provide you with more.

The leader begins to pray. The earnestness and love in his voice is palpable. He again begs that God would send someone to bring more of the Word to you all and to teach you. He rejoices for God’s salvation and love for His children.

Others in the group join in. Many fall to their knees, glorifying God and exalting Him. A few cry. The one thing that all the people in that room have in common is their love for their God. You all love Him more than your own lives.

And you know you might be risking those.

The study starts. You pour over those pages for hours, writing down, copying and memorizing whatever you can. You drink in the Word now, because you don’t know when your next chance will be. Your thirst for it cannot be quenched.

Then a knock resounds through the room.

You all freeze. You know gathering together like this to study and pray is forbidden. It’s even illegal to just be a Christian. Doing this could cost you your home, family, even your life. But you know it’s worth it.

The owner of the small house, no bigger than the room you’re assembled in, stands to get the door. You all hold your breath hoping… no… praying for a miracle.

The door is opened and the man at the door visibly relaxes.

“Welcome brother.”

The room lets out the breath it’s been collectively holding. You all turn back to the study, relieved that you are safe for a little while longer.

We don’t often think about it, but this is the condition that many of our brothers and sisters around the world are forced to conduct their study. Thy gather with baited breath, never knowing I the next knock at the door may cost them their lives. And they are ok with that because they are ready and willing to give up everything for their faith.

They don’t get to gather often, but when they are able to be together, it’s not just a couple of hours at church on a Sunday morning. It’s hours and hours of honest fellowship and learning as much as they can in their short time. They want to know everything they can in the scriptures and will search for it fervently.

We get so bored of learning and easily get distracted. Imagine sitting for hours and learning about one thing only- God’s Word. I’ve done this twice for about 6 hours each, through David Platt’s simulcast, The Secret Church. It’s designed to give American’s a small taste of the study that our brothers and sisters take on. It’s not easy to sit through and can be very difficult teaching, but I highly recommend it. (If you want some more information, here’s the link- Secret Church )

It’s nothing like the fear for their lives and the danger, but it gives us a small understanding of the heart attitude of these people. For some around the world, these six hours would be a short study.

I’m just trying to ask right now for everyone to have awareness for our family in Christ around the world. They are in danger every day and need our prayers.

For more information on the persecuted church, here is a link that can provide more information- Open Doors

It Is Not Good for Man to Be Alone (And I'm Talking About Friends Here)

We are built for relationships. There is no way around that. We are built to have family and friends. Even from the very beginning in Genesis 2:18, God says “it is not good that the man should be alone”. He made a companions for Adam because God knew that He had not made Adam to live on His own. Neither has He made us to.

I used to think I was the exception to the rule. I was a complete loner and I didn’t open up to anyone, not even to my own family. I didn’t trust anyone and tried to avoid contact with people whenever possible. In short, if my parents didn’t force me to go to go to events where I would have to socialize, I didn’t go. I thought I was happy, but eventually it lead to my severe depression. I ceased to function for the longest time until I finally forced myself to open up to my mom and then to some of the girls in my youth group.

That changed my life. I found strength and encouragement from these people and was slowly able to come out of my shell. It made me happier and I felt like I actually had a place to belong. I wouldn’t have gotten it through my mom’s death without them. I can’t even imagine trying.

Even this past weekend, I was reminded of what fantastic companionship God has given me in my church family. I was having a rough weekend and was struggling, and it was pretty obvious. They all surrounded me and loved me, even though I really didn’t want to talk about it. One of my friends was getting ready to leave and when he noticed I was upset, he took the time to find out what was wrong (and after I stepped on his foot too). In all my friends, God has blessed me.

God has given me strength through my friends after I finally opened up to them. And I have come to realize that I can’t live my life on my own, like I used to try to do.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

If we surround ourselves with the right people, we are better for it. It can strengthen and encourage us in the bad times and celebrate with us in the good. We are equipped to do more work and it is more enjoyable.

Think about something as simple as a workout. You start on your own, and it can get boring, monotonous and exhausting very quickly (unless you enjoy that sort of thing of course. Great for you if you do). But add a good friend to the mix, and suddenly it can become much more enjoyable. It can turn into a competition, a game, or just a time to talk while you are running on the treadmill. It doesn’t seem like as awful of a task.

It’s the same thing with any activity. On you own it can be difficult or annoying, but having good friends doing it with you can change your whole perspective.

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to his who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? Although a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him- a three cord fold is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 2:12

Solomon makes some very practical arguments for having close friends. They help you if you fall, they can keep you warm, and together you can stop a man from hurting you. Basically, if you have friends, you have help. There are things you can do because of your friends that you could never do alone.

We should be happy to help out our friends whether we get a return for it or not, and we should choose friends that we know will be loyal and loving, though we shouldn’t expect them to be perfect, because we certainly aren’t.

We are cautioned, however, to be cautious about our choice in friends. In Proverbs 12:26, it says “A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

These are the people who we will invest our lives in and spend the most time with. We will influence them and they will influence us. It’s no wonder that we should be careful who we develop our closest friendships with.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be friends with people who aren’t Christian. Jesus Himself spent most of His time with sinners. And how could we spread the gospel if we didn’t ever interact with these people? What I am saying that you should save your closest and most intimate friendships for those who believe as well.

You should choose your closest friends to be people who will point you in the right direction, people who can give you Godly, biblical advice and who your conversations with are pure.

God gave us other people to be light in our lives and to have companionship, but we should remember that these friends will never replace the greatest light and friend we could ever have; God Himself. He is everything, our greatest help and our best friend. He knows everything that we have done, thought or been, and He loves us anyways. He gave us other people to be a reflection of that, even though He is the only perfect friend we could have. 

Something I felt lead to share about myself...

I want to share a part of myself that I haven’t really shared with too many people. It’s about my guilt for something that wasn’t my fault and my hatred of myself because of it.

It has to do with my mother.

As many of you know, my mother died from cancer about a year and a half ago. It hurt me more than I can put into words, but that wasn’t the only thing that hurt me then.

For most of the two years she was sick, I was my mother’s main caretaker. And I had to do a lot for her, but I enjoyed every moment because it brought us closer than we had ever been before. Every moment I was serving her or helping her, we were talking or praying or singing or just acting goofy. We worked together on a Relay for Life team and every meeting we would go out together beforehand and get dinner and talk for hours. I loved those moments.

Then, when I was coming home from Guatemala, my dad called me. He told me that my mother had died. I was only an hour away from home. And I cried. Herder than I ever have. I wasn’t mad at God, though. Not at all. I was mad at myself. I felt like it was my fault, because it had been my job to take care of her.

You failed her.

You just weren’t good enough to take care of her.

Those were some of the thoughts that plagued me when I found out. I blamed myself, even though there was literally nothing I could do.

And then the realization that I never got to say goodbye came. I didn’t even get to see her before she died, because I was off doing what I wanted to do. I hadn’t seen my job as caretaker through until the end.

I know these thoughts are foolish. She had told, practically ordered, me to go. She knew it was where I was supposed to be.

She told me to go, and didn’t tell me how bad things actually were going. She knew she might never see me again, and yet she told me to go. Because she knew that was where God wanted me.

I remember the day I left, she had been in the hospital and one of her best friends was there to see her daughter and me off. She started crying when she came and give me a hug. I didn’t know that she knew as well.

Every day I regret not being there when my mother died, even though I know I was where I had needed to be.

In my head, I keep telling myself these things.

It wasn’t your fault.

There wasn’t anything you could have done.

You were where you needed to be.

And in my head, I know these are true, but in my heart, I still have this deep loathing for myself. I know it’s not how I should feel, but I just can’t convince myself

Out of all my sinful thoughts, this one is probably the hardest to get rid of. It doesn’t matter if I push it away or ignore it, it’s still there, lurking in the back of my head, ready to strike whenever my emotions are on edge.

I know that I should not blame myself for this or hate myself, but I don’t know how to move past. I don’t even know why I felt lead to share this with everyone.

Bus at the same time, I know I can’t keep it inside forever.

Thanks for reading, and to all those who have stayed close to me the last couple years, I am so grateful for your support.

What a Hot-tempered Irish Girl Has Been Learning

“Refrain from anger and forsake wrath. Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.” Psalm 37:8

Definitely talking to myself here. I am a bad tempered Irish chick and it shows. I get angry easily, and I do not let it go for a long time. If you get me mad, you will know it.

And half the time I’ll misdirect it too. If I can’t take it out on who I want to, it overflows onto my friends and family. (God bless them for putting up with me.)

I’m not going to make any excuses. This is wrong. I know it, and I am trying to learn.

It’s not so much the emotion of anger that is wrong. I can’t control when that enters my mind. However what I can control is how I react. And that is where I go wrong. When I’m angry, I don’t control it or take care of it. I let it build out until it spills out, normally onto someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Verses throughout the bible show how we should be in regards to our anger:

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Ephesians 4:26

It doesn’t say we can’t be angered, but it does tell us not to sin in that anger. This verse also tells us not to hold a grudge. We shouldn’t even let it last to the end of the day. We should handle it as it comes and not let it build.

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20

We shouldn’t snap the moment someone says something that may offend us or does anything we don’t like. It tells us that our anger will not make us the people God desires us to be. We will not produce the fruit of righteousness if we dwell in anger.

“”Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11

Again- we should be slow to anger. That is what is sensible.

It is considered a wise man’s glory to overlook an offense. It doesn’t mean it is easy to overlook or that you won’t want to respond, but it is good to just let it go.

“Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the hearts of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9

I’m going to point out that Ecclesiastes was written by Solomon, who was considered to be the wisest man the world has ever known. He knows much, and he says that anger is in the heart of fools. It is not for those who seek after God.

“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” Proverbs 15:18

“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” Proverbs 16:32

In both of these verses, I have seen other translations that translate “slow to anger” as “patient”. Part of being level headed and slow to anger is being patient and calm (Another issue of mine).

The patient man can calm quarrels between people, and it says he is better than one who takes a city- better than that mighty man who many respect.

“Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” Proverbs 14:29

The parallels are once again drawn between a patient man having wisdom (understanding) and an angry man being a fool (folly). It becomes pretty clear throughout the scriptures that God wants us to be patient and slow to anger.

There are many other verses that tie into this, but I will leave it at those. I think God’s point about our anger is pretty obvious.

It’s a struggle, certainly. I strive every day to overcome my temper and to be patient. I am definitely still working on it. It doesn’t happen instantly with a quick prayer to make it go away.

I’ve seen in my prayer life that when I pray for patience, God doesn’t instantly give it to me, He gives me opportunities to be patient and I learn through those how to be patient. When I pray for my temper to be controlled, He gives me things that ordinarily would make me mad so that I can learn to control it.

He has already given us the tool we need to learn these things- the Holy Spirit. If we are in Him, the Spirit can teach us to be patient and controlled as long as we listen, and don’t quench it (Therein lies my problem).

Learning to be controlled as God instructs us to be is a process. That’s for sure. However it is possible with His assistance. So don’t give up.

And just listen to Him. He’ll help you if you let Him.

I Refuse

“I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself, oh I could choose not to move, but I refuse.” –I Refuse, Josh Wilson

Recently, this has become one of my favorite songs. If you haven’t heard it, go listen to it (Right now. It’s awesome). It hits a lot of points that can be hard to hear, but we need to think about them.

We oftentimes when we hear of a problem do nothing about it. Sure, we may send a prayer their way, but we don’t do anything about it ourselves. We always want someone else to do something. We would like something to happen, but if helping messes with our comfort or schedule, it doesn’t happen.

We pray God would send someone. Did you ever think that that someone could be you?

I’m not just talking about missions. I’m talking about something as simple as sharing Christ with your best friend, or sponsoring a child in need or doing a simple service project.

We may take our friend to church and hope that the pastor’s words will reach their heart. But a man speaking from a pulpit will never have the same place in the heart of your friend that you do. He won’t command the same level of respect that you will. And besides, it’s not just the pastor’s job to share the gospel. It’s all of ours. I know it’s not easy and, speaking from personal experience, I know you will not always succeed. You will fail and you will feel like you bumbled through it and there was no fruit in what you did. But you never know when your words will come back to that person and effect them later in life. So do it.

If you feel lead to go help out people through volunteer work, then don’t wait for someone else to go. Do it. You never know how much good you can do helping those people, and you could use that as an opportunity to share Christ with them.

Always be attentive to the Spirit’s urging. Yes it can disrupt your plans, even multiple times in a row. Look at Paul in Acts 16:6-10. First they wanted to go to Asia, but it says they were forbidden by the Spirit from going there. Then they tried to go into Bithynia, but as it says in verse 7 “The Spirit of Jesus did not allow them.”

Keep in mind, they aren’t driving of flying to these places. They are either walking or sailing. So they go hundreds of miles, just to be told no once again.

Finally Paul receives a vision to go to Macedonia. And he goes immediately.

Immediately.

He begins the long trek to Macedonia as soon as he can. He doesn’t grumble or complaining because the Spirit disrupted his plans twice in a row. He sets out straightaway.

What if we had that kind of attentiveness and obedience to the Spirit’s calling? To be willing to do whatever He has called us to do, be it something large or small, as soon as He calls us to it. I think it would certainly bring about a revival in our lives and in our churches.

What if we stopped praying for God to send people to provide the needs of others and instead prayed, asking God what He would have us do to address those needs?

I think we should stop just praying for the needs of others. I’m not saying we should stop praying for them, but that we should also be willing to do something for it.

God uses people to help other people, and if no one is willing to go because they believe someone else will, then who will be left to go?

There are needs all around us that we can address, even right in our own home towns. And we can use those opportunities not only to help, but to bring Jesus to these people.

“Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:40

As a bit of encouragement- in Matthew, serving others is likened to serving Christ. If we are listening to the Holy Spirit and doing what it tells us, we will be serving Christ.

So in choosing to wait for someone else to follow the spirit, we in turn aren’t serving Christ the way we are commanded to.

And that’s something that I refuse to do. I refuse to wait for someone else to do what God has asked me to. 

Wake Up!

“Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name.” Acts 5:41

Wow… I don’t have any words to describe the wonder I have at the believers at this time. They had just been beaten and ordered not to teach the name of Jesus. And they were rejoicing.

And it didn’t stop there-

“And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they did not cease teaching and preaching that the Christ is Jesus.” Acts 5:42

So… they were beaten and ordered not to reach Jesus... and what did they do? They kept at it every day. And not just kept at it, but did it right in front of the people who had had them beaten. They were in the temple, exactly where their opposition would be.

They didn’t shy away from conflict. They held their ground, no matter what. They were not treated fairly by those around them. They were beaten and imprisoned, some even killed, on false accusations, and they were only accused because they believed in Christ. They just wanted others to know Him.

Their only crime was being Christians.

And they were beaten and imprisoned for it, or like Stephen, they were killed.

In America, this is unheard of. We expect fair treatment and equality. We are so used to being able to worship without any problem that we have become complacent. We never even entertain the thought that persecution could come our way. It could, and it will. We don’t know when or in what form, but it will come to us.

The other thing our complacency has made us do is forget. We forget about our brothers and sisters in other nations that are being persecuted for their faith. Those people that are being imprisoned or killed or beaten and kidnapped simply because they believe in the name of Christ.

Yet many of these people, like those found in Acts, are rejoicing. They are thanking God for bringing the Word to them and for giving them the opportunity to share Christ, even at the risk of their lives. They know they are not safe, nor are their families. They risk literally everything to know Christ.

And we’ve forgotten about them. We don’t even take the time to pray for our persecuted family across the world. And there are a lot of them.

Many places are not like America, where we have nothing to fear from our faith. Many people can’t gather openly in churches to worship.

And yet they still follow Christ and try to share Him, despite their peril.

I think the faith of these people is incredible, and I think that if they saw the American church… honestly I believe that they’d be disgusted. We have the gospel and are open to believe what we want, yet we won’t share it with those around us… And why won’t we?

From what I’ve seen, there are two main reasons. Number one is that we’re scared of what people might think about us. Seriously? We have brothers and sisters dying around the world to share Christ and we’re afraid of people making fun of us? In America, we have no danger to our lives and we won’t share anyways.

The other reason I’ve heard is; “I’m just too busy.” Again- really? We spend so much time on things that have no eternal value. And we can’t take some time out of our “busy” schedule to make an eternal impact?

There are two things I find in common within these two reasons. One is that they’re both about us. I’m afraid of what they’ll say about me. I’m too busy and it’ll mess with my schedule. This life isn’t supposed to be about us. It’s about Christ. The other thing they have in common is that they are not really reasons. They’re just excuses.

I know that when I die, I don’t want to stand in front of God and try to explain why I didn’t share His Son with the world with these excuses. Imagine that for a second, (really, try that in your head) and you’ll realize how weak those excuses are in the scheme of things.

So maybe it’s time to wake up a little. Realize that we aren’t the most important one in the world. See that He is.

I pray that He will give us the strength to turn this world upside down in His name. I pray that He’ll start a revival in the American church and give us a feverish love for Him. I pray that he would protect His children all over the world, no matter where they are.

And more than anything, I thank Him for the gift of His Son. 

Don't Worry, God's Got This

“Do not be afraid”

These words show up in various forms 300+ times throughout the bible. (I believe the number is 365 actually, cool huh?) We are told this so many times, but yet as humans we still fear. I know I struggle with this on a daily basis. Even though I’ve been told not to be afraid literally hundreds of times.

My biggest fear is probably the fear of man. I am terrified of the people around me. I am terrified of what they may think of me at any given time. I am afraid of what they may say or do to me.

I believe this fear is common to the whole of mankind. No one likes people talking behind their back and everyone worries about what others might be capable of. I think that’s one of the reasons Jesus addresses this fear specifically in Matthew:

“And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who is able to destroy both body and soul in hell.” Matthew 10:28

In the sense of eternity, what can man really do to us? They can’t do anything to our souls, and those are what lasts. So we might as well live for the One who holds our eternity.

Later in the same passage, Jesus gives us another reason not to fear:

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs on your head are numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31

He who know what happens to every bird has counted the very hairs on our heads. He knows everything about us and cares more about us than the birds He made. He promises to take care of us and knows everything that our future holds.

As a small disclaimer however, He does not ever say that nothing bad will happen and that we’ll have a fantastic life and get rich and all of that. The so called “prosperity gospel” that is so often taught is completely contrary to Jesus’ teachings. He teaches almost the exact opposite of that. He says the world will persecute and hate us. However He includes a promise with this.

“And you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.” Matthew 10:22

Many other times He tells us that we will be persecuted because He was persecuted. (2 Timothy 3:12; John 15:20) But we know that he will give us strength to endure. Nothing can happen to us without His permission and, as it says in romans 8:28, God does work all things together for the good of those who love Him, and towards His ultimate purpose.

Another common fear that I used to struggle with was the fear of death and dying. Then I started to wonder why I fear that so much. If I am confident in Christ, shouldn’t I look forward to my death for the life afterwards with Christ?

Think about what Paul said to the church in Philippi-

“For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21

We should live our lives reflecting Christ, and when we die we get to go to an eternity with Him. So, instead of fearing death, I really think we should look forward to the life afterwards.

Then there is the lesser for of fear; worry. We worry about our clothes and hair and our food and our houses and friends. We obsess over the future and get agitated over the past. But this is not condoned in the bible. As a matter of fact, we are told not to worry.

“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.” Matthew 6:31-34

This is the ESV translation, so many of you are probably accustomed to the NIV’s translation of anxious being worry instead, but with either version, it boils down to the fact that we are not supposed to worry.

God knows exactly what we need and will add them to us when He thinks is right. Our only concern should be seeking God in His righteousness. Nothing else should be as important to us as that. And if we are so fully fixated on God like that, will we really have room to worry about anything?

It’s the last part of this section that really strikes me. As someone who has just chosen a college and will be going next fall, I find myself constantly worrying about my future. I don’t know what’s coming and I don’t know what to expect. But Christ tells me not to be anxious about tomorrow. It doesn’t matter what tomorrow might hold, God will take care of me and I have to trust that.

So remember one thing next time you are afraid or worried. God’s got this. He is the creator of everything and He will take care of you. It won’t always be easy or fun, but if you believe in Him, He will lead you to where you need to be.