It Is Not Good for Man to Be Alone (And I'm Talking About Friends Here)

We are built for relationships. There is no way around that. We are built to have family and friends. Even from the very beginning in Genesis 2:18, God says “it is not good that the man should be alone”. He made a companions for Adam because God knew that He had not made Adam to live on His own. Neither has He made us to.

I used to think I was the exception to the rule. I was a complete loner and I didn’t open up to anyone, not even to my own family. I didn’t trust anyone and tried to avoid contact with people whenever possible. In short, if my parents didn’t force me to go to go to events where I would have to socialize, I didn’t go. I thought I was happy, but eventually it lead to my severe depression. I ceased to function for the longest time until I finally forced myself to open up to my mom and then to some of the girls in my youth group.

That changed my life. I found strength and encouragement from these people and was slowly able to come out of my shell. It made me happier and I felt like I actually had a place to belong. I wouldn’t have gotten it through my mom’s death without them. I can’t even imagine trying.

Even this past weekend, I was reminded of what fantastic companionship God has given me in my church family. I was having a rough weekend and was struggling, and it was pretty obvious. They all surrounded me and loved me, even though I really didn’t want to talk about it. One of my friends was getting ready to leave and when he noticed I was upset, he took the time to find out what was wrong (and after I stepped on his foot too). In all my friends, God has blessed me.

God has given me strength through my friends after I finally opened up to them. And I have come to realize that I can’t live my life on my own, like I used to try to do.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

If we surround ourselves with the right people, we are better for it. It can strengthen and encourage us in the bad times and celebrate with us in the good. We are equipped to do more work and it is more enjoyable.

Think about something as simple as a workout. You start on your own, and it can get boring, monotonous and exhausting very quickly (unless you enjoy that sort of thing of course. Great for you if you do). But add a good friend to the mix, and suddenly it can become much more enjoyable. It can turn into a competition, a game, or just a time to talk while you are running on the treadmill. It doesn’t seem like as awful of a task.

It’s the same thing with any activity. On you own it can be difficult or annoying, but having good friends doing it with you can change your whole perspective.

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to his who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? Although a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him- a three cord fold is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 2:12

Solomon makes some very practical arguments for having close friends. They help you if you fall, they can keep you warm, and together you can stop a man from hurting you. Basically, if you have friends, you have help. There are things you can do because of your friends that you could never do alone.

We should be happy to help out our friends whether we get a return for it or not, and we should choose friends that we know will be loyal and loving, though we shouldn’t expect them to be perfect, because we certainly aren’t.

We are cautioned, however, to be cautious about our choice in friends. In Proverbs 12:26, it says “A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

These are the people who we will invest our lives in and spend the most time with. We will influence them and they will influence us. It’s no wonder that we should be careful who we develop our closest friendships with.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be friends with people who aren’t Christian. Jesus Himself spent most of His time with sinners. And how could we spread the gospel if we didn’t ever interact with these people? What I am saying that you should save your closest and most intimate friendships for those who believe as well.

You should choose your closest friends to be people who will point you in the right direction, people who can give you Godly, biblical advice and who your conversations with are pure.

God gave us other people to be light in our lives and to have companionship, but we should remember that these friends will never replace the greatest light and friend we could ever have; God Himself. He is everything, our greatest help and our best friend. He knows everything that we have done, thought or been, and He loves us anyways. He gave us other people to be a reflection of that, even though He is the only perfect friend we could have.