A Summer of Shortcomings

Wow, the summer is almost gone. In just a few days, I will be heading back to New Tribes Bible Institute to complete my second year of study as I continue to pursue missions. It has been an interesting summer, and it would be a lie to say I floated through it easily. I saw a lot of my own problems as I went through this summer and I learned a lot through it.

There were a lot of my own shortcomings I faced, but I also saw what God’s word says about it during my studies.

I worry about everything… a lot.

I way this in myself constantly this summer. I worried about my friends that I was away from. I worried about my future and my relationship. I worried about how I reacted to the people around me. I worried about where the money for this coming semester was going to come from. In short, if there was something I could worry about, I did,

Matthew 6:31-33 “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Philippians 4:6-7 “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

There are so many verses about worry in the Bible. God says so many times that we should not worry. He also talks about the remedy of worry- Keeping my mind on Him and being constantly in prayer. When I worry, instead of obsessing and stressing, my first response should be to come to God in prayer.

I don’t think about what I say as often as I should.

From time to time, my mouth opens before my brain thinks it through, or I just end up saying more than I should. And when that happens, it is almost exclusively insulting, rude or hurtful. Most of these times I end up regretting what I say and wish I could take it back.

Proverbs 10:19 “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Proverbs 12:18 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Proverbs 13:3 “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life: he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”

I spent the first part of the summer studying the wisdom of Proverbs, and all it has to say about the tongue hit me hard. It talks a lot about restraining your words and thinking through them before speaking. Many words are not usually good or necessary, and choosing just a few words wisely is almost invariably more effective, as well as less hurtful.

When I am having problems, I tend to bury them.

Whenever I am upset or hurting, I hide it. I tend to not let anyone know, and even go so far as to lie about it so that no one will know I am hurting. I will disappear to be on my own and want nothing to do with anyone else.

Ephesians 4:25 “Therefore, having put away falsehood let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”

1 Corinthians 12:12-13 “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.”

1 Corinthians 12:25-26 “…but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” 

When I make the choice to lie about my suffering and hurt, I am injuring the body by not getting the help I may need at that point in time. When I hide my hurt, it gets worse and eventually it shows itself worse than before and hurts the others around me. I am not just an individual living my own life, I am part of a body and my emotions and problems affect more than just me and I need to be conscious of that.

Those are just a few of the lessons I’ve learned this last summer. I don’t think I would have room to talk about everything I have learned, including things about patience and anger. God has really worked on showing me my own shortcomings this summer and showing me how He thinks about them. I can’t say my problems are gone or my issues are conquered, but God is good and He will continue to teach as I continue to fail.