After the Rain

"It's amazing how beautiful a storm looks once you're past it." I remember making that comment to a dear friend of mine after we had just driven through a powerful storm on the 30 hour ride from Michigan to Idaho. It had been a very stressful stretch of road, but looking back on the clouds, (once safely through) it left me with a sense of awe, wonder, and beauty.

In the two months since that trip, I've found myself in another stressful stretch of road, so to speak. As Adam and I prepared for our move here to Canada, I became progressively more anxious about the storm clouds that I perceived were looming above us ominously. We were quitting our jobs, stepping down from the youth group we had become very attached to, saying goodbye to friends we love dearly, packing up our life, and leaving everything that we knew and that was familiar to us. For quite a while, I lost sight of our goal (The road, shall we say?) because I focused so hard on the darkening clouds.

It's amazing how prone I am to that; no matter how many storms God has brought me through. God pulls me through the storm, and then I turn around, see how He's changed me through it, and go, "Wow. what a beautiful storm that was".

And then I do it all over again.

The clouds start to darken and I can't tear my focus away from them. I forget the God who has continued to walk me through storm after storm. He's the God who makes flowers bloom up through the rocks and gravel. He's the God who grows us through the most adverse of circumstances.

Habakkuk 3:17 describes what sounds like an incredible and powerful storm. It's talks about the trees being unable to blossom, harvest failing, no livestock owned, and many other hardships. Basically, no physical needs had any hopes of being met. I don't know about you, but I'we never been in a storm that bad. So what's Habakkuk's response? Is it to look at the storm and cry out in hopelessness? Is it to turn his back on God and reject Him because of the impossibility of the circumstances? No, not at all. Instead, he looks at the One he knows will bring him through the storm. He says he will find joy in the God of his salvation. He trusts the Lord to be his strength and to bring him through.

Oh that my response could be like Habakkuk's! When clouds start to loom, oh that I could say, "Yet I will rejoice in the LORD"! But that's the cool things about God and His graciousness; I'll have another chance... and another... and another. He doesn't consider me a lost cause or a failure just because I failed to see Him during my most recent storm.

The clouds from this transition haven't quite cleared, but the thunder and lightning have definitely slowed, and I'm starting to see the beauty of the storm. God brought me through, as He always has, and I pray that in life's next storm, my response will be the same as that of Habakkuk, "Yet I will rejoice in the LORD".

“Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. LORD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places.”
Habakkuk 3:17-19

Past and Future Plans

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted! I'm not always the best at this blogging thing, but I really do want to keep everyone in the loop about what's going on with my life. So first, thanks for reading and (hopefully) sticking through to the end of what may end up being a rather lengthy post.

As anyone who is reading this blog hopefully knows, my name is Rachel Copelin (previously Winsor, we'll get to that 😊) and the name of my blog is "Life in the Blink of an Eye". When I made this blog as a teen in high school, I had no idea that just a few short years later, I would be feeling the truth of that title heavily. The last couple years have flown by; faster than a blink. So much had happened. Let's start with that. 

I graduated high school back in 2014, and went on to spend a summer in Guatemala, which I posted often about. During this time (and the year leading up to it) I felt a pull toward mission work after seeing the need for it in that country. So after a little research, I started attending New Tribes Bible Institute the next fall. There, I spent two years immersed in the word and hearing from various missionaries about their work. While I was there, I also met an amazing man named Adam. I graduated the school and married him immediately (I couldn't let this one slip away, and so I became a Copelin). That was a little over a year ago. 

So what's been going on the last year? Mostly work. We have been working to save up money for the next stage of training; Eminate in Canada. This is under the organization Ethnos 360 (formerly New Tribes Mission). We have also been serving in both the preschool ministry and the youth group in our church. I have the amazing opportunity to get to know the high school girls from my church and speak God's truth into their lives. It's been so great to see growth in these young women. Adam teaches the high schoolers and then leads the boys group after the lesson. Now that it's summer, however we meet less regularly until school starts up again but we still look forward to interaction with the youth as much as possible. 

The next question to answer is, where are we going? As I already stated, we hope in the next couple of years to head to Eminate for extra training with Ethnos 360. And what is our goal? Well, first there's something that you all need to know. You need to know that there are thousands of people groups who have never heard the name of Jesus. There are thousands of languages that have never had the word of God translated. Our goal is that those people would be reached. God desires that all can be saved, and how can that happen without them hearing? We don't know where we will end up yet; that is dependant on God. But we want to be involved in this.  

Thanks for reading if you got this far. I'm just about done. I just want to say we would appreciate your prayers as we take the next steps that will determine our future in this. We appreciate you all so much and can't wait to share with you where God takes us! 

Updates! Updates! Updates!

First of all, wow it's been a long time since I've posted. A lot has happened since then and I've said the sum total of none of it. Sorry about that. So I'll catch you all up to speed before being all serious.

First big thing I should mention; I'm engaged! Yeah that happened. Seriously though, getting married in just a couple weeks to my amazing Adam and I really look forward to it. I have a great guy and am so lucky to be with him.

Next, I am graduating from New Tribes Bible Institute in just a week and a half.  Crazy, right? Two years of my life went by so fast but it was worth the time. These have been some of the best weeks of my life, just growing and getting to know God better and better. I am so grateful for what God has done in me, even though it has been a trial.

The final thing I wanted to update you guys about was our senior trip that we took to Wayumi. Guys, I can't even explain it. It was one of the hardest, yet best weeks I've had in a long time. It forced me to rely wholly on God. Adam wasn't there to comfort me through the struggles that challenged our whole class and the only one I could trust to be there for me fully was God. And it was so worth it.
The trip also gave me a closer look at what if will look like to be involved in Missions, and let me tell you, it was frightening and amazing at the same time. I loved the language studies and learning what it takes to learn a language perviously unspoken and that excited me. But I also saw the trial of what these tribes do to each other and the violence and sin and it reminded me that they need Christ as we do and that's why I need to go.

Lastly, I just wanted to give you all an encouragement from what God's been teaching me. And that's just to walk with Him guys. Seriously, it's the best (and hardest) decision you can make. I saw a period while I was here that I wasn't and He just got ahold of my heart and pushed me to listen and trust Him. And the change I've seen in myself and my attitudes and I've walked beside Him and been honest. No amount of sin can take away your salvation, but it can really strain your fellowship with Him. But the cool thing is, He tells us in 1 John  that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive. And that's taking about fellowship guys. We can agree with Him about our sin and He will take that and pull us right back beside Him to continue our walk. And that's so cool. It's hard, because if means admitting when you're wrong and sucking up your price, but let me tell you, it is so worth it.

A Summer of Shortcomings

Wow, the summer is almost gone. In just a few days, I will be heading back to New Tribes Bible Institute to complete my second year of study as I continue to pursue missions. It has been an interesting summer, and it would be a lie to say I floated through it easily. I saw a lot of my own problems as I went through this summer and I learned a lot through it.

There were a lot of my own shortcomings I faced, but I also saw what God’s word says about it during my studies.

I worry about everything… a lot.

I way this in myself constantly this summer. I worried about my friends that I was away from. I worried about my future and my relationship. I worried about how I reacted to the people around me. I worried about where the money for this coming semester was going to come from. In short, if there was something I could worry about, I did,

Matthew 6:31-33 “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Philippians 4:6-7 “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

There are so many verses about worry in the Bible. God says so many times that we should not worry. He also talks about the remedy of worry- Keeping my mind on Him and being constantly in prayer. When I worry, instead of obsessing and stressing, my first response should be to come to God in prayer.

I don’t think about what I say as often as I should.

From time to time, my mouth opens before my brain thinks it through, or I just end up saying more than I should. And when that happens, it is almost exclusively insulting, rude or hurtful. Most of these times I end up regretting what I say and wish I could take it back.

Proverbs 10:19 “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Proverbs 12:18 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Proverbs 13:3 “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life: he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”

I spent the first part of the summer studying the wisdom of Proverbs, and all it has to say about the tongue hit me hard. It talks a lot about restraining your words and thinking through them before speaking. Many words are not usually good or necessary, and choosing just a few words wisely is almost invariably more effective, as well as less hurtful.

When I am having problems, I tend to bury them.

Whenever I am upset or hurting, I hide it. I tend to not let anyone know, and even go so far as to lie about it so that no one will know I am hurting. I will disappear to be on my own and want nothing to do with anyone else.

Ephesians 4:25 “Therefore, having put away falsehood let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”

1 Corinthians 12:12-13 “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.”

1 Corinthians 12:25-26 “…but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” 

When I make the choice to lie about my suffering and hurt, I am injuring the body by not getting the help I may need at that point in time. When I hide my hurt, it gets worse and eventually it shows itself worse than before and hurts the others around me. I am not just an individual living my own life, I am part of a body and my emotions and problems affect more than just me and I need to be conscious of that.

Those are just a few of the lessons I’ve learned this last summer. I don’t think I would have room to talk about everything I have learned, including things about patience and anger. God has really worked on showing me my own shortcomings this summer and showing me how He thinks about them. I can’t say my problems are gone or my issues are conquered, but God is good and He will continue to teach as I continue to fail. 

Easter is Enough

Easter Sunday. A day we celebrate Christ’s rising from the dead, His victory over death. The end of the weekend where we contemplate His suffering and the horrendous death He faced, along with the separation from the Father. Sunday. A day of remembrance and celebration.

And then it becomes Monday. Maybe we still take a moment to think about it, to send a quick “thank you” kind of shout out to God for His salvation. Then it becomes Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday… and soon the celebration of the resurrection is nothing more than a distant memory and we have pushed it to the back of our minds for another year.

It doesn’t take long for us to get back into the routine of our lives and for us to forget the great things He has done for us. And even beyond forgetting, we start to backslide from joyous remembrance to angry disappointment. We are once again faced with the trials and struggles of life and we may even turn back to god to shake our fist at Him; to blame Him for our problems.

I am as guilty of this as anyone. When things are hard for me, I don’t turn to what he has done for me. I look as what He hasn’t done. When a friend from high school drowned, I asked God how He could do that. When my mom was suffering from cancer and it took her just months after my friend had died, I couldn’t understand God’s choosing not to heal her or why He couldn’t have at least given me some time to grieve for my friend. As I fight a daily battle with depression, I ask God why He hasn’t taken it from me. Every time I’m faced with the difficulties of life, I don’t run into His arms; I turn my back on Him and scream at Him.

And yet, look at what He has done for me.

I think back to a week ago at school when we had a speaker come in. I remember one thing he said clearer than any other; If God never did anything for us beyond saving us, that is enough. As first I blanched back from this. I couldn’t understand how this man speaking could say that. My thoughts were along the lines of, what about that is wrong with the world? Pain, death, disaster… How can this man say that God’s done enough? And then I thought about it. God paid the ultimate cost for us by taking on human form through the Person of Christ. He saved people who should be nothing to Him. People who, as a race, had turned their back on Him.

In our human thoughts, the proper response to betrayal is to, in turn, turn our backs on the betrayer. However God, in His infinite love and grace decided to do the unthinkable from a human perspective; He reconciled us to Himself.

So I guess now I have to ask myself the other question; how can I say that what He has done isn’t enough?

Who am I to judge what God does when He has already taken care of the worst fate that humanity can face through His Son, and all we have to do to have this salvation is to believe? If God stepped back and just let the world run its course in this present evil age, He has still done enough. He would have been just to condemn the whole world to hell and He chose a different course.

I know that I’m not going to always remember this in the hard times, but I know that what we celebrate today is enough. Christ’s death and resurrection is more than we deserve. Easter is enough. I pray that as this day passes and we move on with our lives that He would bring into our remembrance that He truly has done enough.

He is Risen. 

Human Thought for Heavenly Worship

“What’s God done for you? After what you’ve been through, how can you still praise him?” I have heard that question so many times from my non-believing friends since the time that my mom died. They all believe that since this God of mine took my mother away while I was only 15 that I should hate Him for it. They believe that I should have turned my back on Him when He allowed me to watch the cancer slowly desolate her. It showed me their faulty knowledge of my God, and it also made me think, why do I worship? What’s the point? It even made me doubt for a time as I wrestled with that question and my anger at Him. Even through this time however, I never turned away from Him, even though at times I wasn’t sure why. Now however, I know that there are so many reasons to, and my human mind will never exhaust all of the reasons to.

                 So why worship?

                 Because I am nothing and He is everything.

                 As someone who has dealt with depression and even attempted suicide, I know what it’s like to come to the end of myself, to see myself as utterly despondent and needy and having seemly no reason to continue on. However, even though I tried to end it, God didn’t let me. I woke up. I have realized that I am worthless; nothing, especially in comparison to an almighty, perfect and matchless God. Yet He gives me worth. He has loved me, a nothing, so much that He redeemed me and gave my life through His son.

                 Because He is our Creator.

                 How many times have I found myself worshipping the created things, and yet not taking the time to worship the Creator of those things? He didn’t just create a monotone world with very little. He created a world of color and beauty. He has given us everything we could ever need and so much more and that alone is a reason to bow before Him.

                 Because He desires a relationship with us.

                 God didn’t just create us and leave us to fend for ourselves; He wants us to know Him. He has given us the Word to reveal Himself, and even in that, given us His personal name, Yahweh, to call Him by. He is not some far off deity that many cultures worship and He does not need to be manipulated. He allows us to come before Him in confidence and to talk to Him openly. Through Christ, we are allowed to stand boldly before God in a way that we could have never before and that is amazing.

                 Because He never changes, He never has and He never will.

                 This particular reason became quite clear to me soon after my mom died. My life will change, and so will my heart, but God will not. He is consistent and because He never changes, neither will what He says. He isn’t an indecisive being and He does not change His mind. My mother dying did not change who God was. His taking of her did not make Him less trustworthy or less powerful. It did not make Him a villain or someone that was worthy of my hatred. It did not make Him anything less than what He had been before.

                 Because God is powerful, all-knowing and all-wise.

                 God is capable of anything. He has the power to bring about any disaster or any miracle. He also has knowledge greater than the universe and He knows how to use it. There is never any doubting in God’s mind and nothing ever surprises Him. The only questions he asks are the ones to make us search ourselves.

                 Because God is good.

                 This one ties in with the last point quite a bit. If the all-powerful, all-knowing and all-wise God is also good than we need to trust Him. He doesn’t sit on His heavenly throne, wringing his proverbial hands and wondering what He is going to do in some situations. He is never out of control. Therefore, when he allows difficulties into our lives, we need to believe that He is bringing things about for His purposes. It isn’t easy to believe this in the moment, but looking back in life, God always has a plan. We may not see it this side of life, but that’s why we need to trust that in His eternal self, He has things under control.

                 So why worship?

                 The ultimately reason to worship God is this; because God is God. He is the great I AM. He is everything when we are nothing. He is higher than anything our finite minds can conjure up and He will always be that. He has always existed and will never die. He is infinite, we are finite. He is holy, we are sinners. He is good, we are evil. He is everything that we are not and that alone is reason enough to worship.                                                               

                 

God Plus.. What?

So, as I’ve continued my studies at New Tribes, I’ve found myself learning so much in my classes; God’s faithfulness, judgment, mercy and so many other things. However, many of the hardest personal lessons I’ve come to learn aren’t learned in class. Sure, they may be brought up by a piece of class or a chapel lesson, but they only hit me when I’m sitting on my own, in silence before my LORD.

Something that I’ve found myself struggling with is trust. I’m willing to do what God says, if He shows me where He’s directing me. I’m willing to go the distance, as long as He makes it clear how He will provide for me in that. I will follow in His footsteps if…

And that’s where He’s been hitting me lately, right in the if.

In chapel, one of our teachers read a simple quote, God plus nothing. At first, I nodded to it, without even applying it to myself. Pretty much, my thought line was, that sounds great. God plus nothing. Why not?

And that’s when He drew my attention. I realized that I don’t truly follow that statement. For me it’s always God plus… It’s God plus safety, God plus provision, God plus people, God plus reassurance… God plus something.

I don’t trust Him enough to put my trust in Him alone.

I may be going in the direction that He has been showing me for my life, but it’s always with those thoughts in the back of my minds. It’s always needing a second opinion about what He’s showing me. I can’t seem to do anything without something extra besides God. My sight is always on the how of getting things done, and not the Who that holds those things, and the whole world, in His hands.

Proverbs 16:3 tells us, Commit your work to the LORD and your plans will be established. If we commit what we do to God, then He will mold our plans into His own, and He always brings about what is best ultimately. That might not mean safety or ease. It could mean disappointment and discouragement. However, God knows the future and He knows what will happen. I need to trust Him in that.

If He shows me a path that seems difficult, my first response needs to not be, how am I going to conquer this? It should be, God’s got this. I’m going to fix my eyes on Him and trust Him.

I don’t want to be like Peter, who took his eyes of Jesus on the water. He let the fear of what he was doing overtake him and looked away from his Savior. That’s when he sank.

Life isn’t about fear. It’s not God plus the waves or God plus the storm. I can’t let the if I’ve leaned on so long to be the factor that controls me when I find myself climbing up a mountain that seems too steep for me. Instead of focusing on the mountain, I want to fixate on my Savior.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

If God has me doing something, then He will make me capable or it. It’s not me that makes it possible or other people’s opinions that matter. It’s simply Him that is what needs to be relied on.

God plus nothing.