Our Spiritual Family. It's Not Just in the States

You step through the door into a small, but crowded room. Eyes look on you, fear clouding them. But there’s something else too. Anticipation… Excitement… Zeal for a belief that the world around them rejects, condemns and is trying to destroy.

A man, the leader of this secret church, stands.

“Welcome, brother.”

You return his greeting, exhilarated to join your brothers and sisters once again. You sit on the dirt floor and look at the few pages that this group had access to.

 Only a few pages of the Word. But these pages hold life. They hold salvation. They are the most important possessions to everyone there. You all wish you could have more. Have the Scriptures in their entirety, but you don’t. You can only pray earnestly that God will provide you with more.

The leader begins to pray. The earnestness and love in his voice is palpable. He again begs that God would send someone to bring more of the Word to you all and to teach you. He rejoices for God’s salvation and love for His children.

Others in the group join in. Many fall to their knees, glorifying God and exalting Him. A few cry. The one thing that all the people in that room have in common is their love for their God. You all love Him more than your own lives.

And you know you might be risking those.

The study starts. You pour over those pages for hours, writing down, copying and memorizing whatever you can. You drink in the Word now, because you don’t know when your next chance will be. Your thirst for it cannot be quenched.

Then a knock resounds through the room.

You all freeze. You know gathering together like this to study and pray is forbidden. It’s even illegal to just be a Christian. Doing this could cost you your home, family, even your life. But you know it’s worth it.

The owner of the small house, no bigger than the room you’re assembled in, stands to get the door. You all hold your breath hoping… no… praying for a miracle.

The door is opened and the man at the door visibly relaxes.

“Welcome brother.”

The room lets out the breath it’s been collectively holding. You all turn back to the study, relieved that you are safe for a little while longer.

We don’t often think about it, but this is the condition that many of our brothers and sisters around the world are forced to conduct their study. Thy gather with baited breath, never knowing I the next knock at the door may cost them their lives. And they are ok with that because they are ready and willing to give up everything for their faith.

They don’t get to gather often, but when they are able to be together, it’s not just a couple of hours at church on a Sunday morning. It’s hours and hours of honest fellowship and learning as much as they can in their short time. They want to know everything they can in the scriptures and will search for it fervently.

We get so bored of learning and easily get distracted. Imagine sitting for hours and learning about one thing only- God’s Word. I’ve done this twice for about 6 hours each, through David Platt’s simulcast, The Secret Church. It’s designed to give American’s a small taste of the study that our brothers and sisters take on. It’s not easy to sit through and can be very difficult teaching, but I highly recommend it. (If you want some more information, here’s the link- Secret Church )

It’s nothing like the fear for their lives and the danger, but it gives us a small understanding of the heart attitude of these people. For some around the world, these six hours would be a short study.

I’m just trying to ask right now for everyone to have awareness for our family in Christ around the world. They are in danger every day and need our prayers.

For more information on the persecuted church, here is a link that can provide more information- Open Doors

It Is Not Good for Man to Be Alone (And I'm Talking About Friends Here)

We are built for relationships. There is no way around that. We are built to have family and friends. Even from the very beginning in Genesis 2:18, God says “it is not good that the man should be alone”. He made a companions for Adam because God knew that He had not made Adam to live on His own. Neither has He made us to.

I used to think I was the exception to the rule. I was a complete loner and I didn’t open up to anyone, not even to my own family. I didn’t trust anyone and tried to avoid contact with people whenever possible. In short, if my parents didn’t force me to go to go to events where I would have to socialize, I didn’t go. I thought I was happy, but eventually it lead to my severe depression. I ceased to function for the longest time until I finally forced myself to open up to my mom and then to some of the girls in my youth group.

That changed my life. I found strength and encouragement from these people and was slowly able to come out of my shell. It made me happier and I felt like I actually had a place to belong. I wouldn’t have gotten it through my mom’s death without them. I can’t even imagine trying.

Even this past weekend, I was reminded of what fantastic companionship God has given me in my church family. I was having a rough weekend and was struggling, and it was pretty obvious. They all surrounded me and loved me, even though I really didn’t want to talk about it. One of my friends was getting ready to leave and when he noticed I was upset, he took the time to find out what was wrong (and after I stepped on his foot too). In all my friends, God has blessed me.

God has given me strength through my friends after I finally opened up to them. And I have come to realize that I can’t live my life on my own, like I used to try to do.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

If we surround ourselves with the right people, we are better for it. It can strengthen and encourage us in the bad times and celebrate with us in the good. We are equipped to do more work and it is more enjoyable.

Think about something as simple as a workout. You start on your own, and it can get boring, monotonous and exhausting very quickly (unless you enjoy that sort of thing of course. Great for you if you do). But add a good friend to the mix, and suddenly it can become much more enjoyable. It can turn into a competition, a game, or just a time to talk while you are running on the treadmill. It doesn’t seem like as awful of a task.

It’s the same thing with any activity. On you own it can be difficult or annoying, but having good friends doing it with you can change your whole perspective.

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to his who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? Although a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him- a three cord fold is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 2:12

Solomon makes some very practical arguments for having close friends. They help you if you fall, they can keep you warm, and together you can stop a man from hurting you. Basically, if you have friends, you have help. There are things you can do because of your friends that you could never do alone.

We should be happy to help out our friends whether we get a return for it or not, and we should choose friends that we know will be loyal and loving, though we shouldn’t expect them to be perfect, because we certainly aren’t.

We are cautioned, however, to be cautious about our choice in friends. In Proverbs 12:26, it says “A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

These are the people who we will invest our lives in and spend the most time with. We will influence them and they will influence us. It’s no wonder that we should be careful who we develop our closest friendships with.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be friends with people who aren’t Christian. Jesus Himself spent most of His time with sinners. And how could we spread the gospel if we didn’t ever interact with these people? What I am saying that you should save your closest and most intimate friendships for those who believe as well.

You should choose your closest friends to be people who will point you in the right direction, people who can give you Godly, biblical advice and who your conversations with are pure.

God gave us other people to be light in our lives and to have companionship, but we should remember that these friends will never replace the greatest light and friend we could ever have; God Himself. He is everything, our greatest help and our best friend. He knows everything that we have done, thought or been, and He loves us anyways. He gave us other people to be a reflection of that, even though He is the only perfect friend we could have. 

Something I felt lead to share about myself...

I want to share a part of myself that I haven’t really shared with too many people. It’s about my guilt for something that wasn’t my fault and my hatred of myself because of it.

It has to do with my mother.

As many of you know, my mother died from cancer about a year and a half ago. It hurt me more than I can put into words, but that wasn’t the only thing that hurt me then.

For most of the two years she was sick, I was my mother’s main caretaker. And I had to do a lot for her, but I enjoyed every moment because it brought us closer than we had ever been before. Every moment I was serving her or helping her, we were talking or praying or singing or just acting goofy. We worked together on a Relay for Life team and every meeting we would go out together beforehand and get dinner and talk for hours. I loved those moments.

Then, when I was coming home from Guatemala, my dad called me. He told me that my mother had died. I was only an hour away from home. And I cried. Herder than I ever have. I wasn’t mad at God, though. Not at all. I was mad at myself. I felt like it was my fault, because it had been my job to take care of her.

You failed her.

You just weren’t good enough to take care of her.

Those were some of the thoughts that plagued me when I found out. I blamed myself, even though there was literally nothing I could do.

And then the realization that I never got to say goodbye came. I didn’t even get to see her before she died, because I was off doing what I wanted to do. I hadn’t seen my job as caretaker through until the end.

I know these thoughts are foolish. She had told, practically ordered, me to go. She knew it was where I was supposed to be.

She told me to go, and didn’t tell me how bad things actually were going. She knew she might never see me again, and yet she told me to go. Because she knew that was where God wanted me.

I remember the day I left, she had been in the hospital and one of her best friends was there to see her daughter and me off. She started crying when she came and give me a hug. I didn’t know that she knew as well.

Every day I regret not being there when my mother died, even though I know I was where I had needed to be.

In my head, I keep telling myself these things.

It wasn’t your fault.

There wasn’t anything you could have done.

You were where you needed to be.

And in my head, I know these are true, but in my heart, I still have this deep loathing for myself. I know it’s not how I should feel, but I just can’t convince myself

Out of all my sinful thoughts, this one is probably the hardest to get rid of. It doesn’t matter if I push it away or ignore it, it’s still there, lurking in the back of my head, ready to strike whenever my emotions are on edge.

I know that I should not blame myself for this or hate myself, but I don’t know how to move past. I don’t even know why I felt lead to share this with everyone.

Bus at the same time, I know I can’t keep it inside forever.

Thanks for reading, and to all those who have stayed close to me the last couple years, I am so grateful for your support.

What a Hot-tempered Irish Girl Has Been Learning

“Refrain from anger and forsake wrath. Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.” Psalm 37:8

Definitely talking to myself here. I am a bad tempered Irish chick and it shows. I get angry easily, and I do not let it go for a long time. If you get me mad, you will know it.

And half the time I’ll misdirect it too. If I can’t take it out on who I want to, it overflows onto my friends and family. (God bless them for putting up with me.)

I’m not going to make any excuses. This is wrong. I know it, and I am trying to learn.

It’s not so much the emotion of anger that is wrong. I can’t control when that enters my mind. However what I can control is how I react. And that is where I go wrong. When I’m angry, I don’t control it or take care of it. I let it build out until it spills out, normally onto someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Verses throughout the bible show how we should be in regards to our anger:

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Ephesians 4:26

It doesn’t say we can’t be angered, but it does tell us not to sin in that anger. This verse also tells us not to hold a grudge. We shouldn’t even let it last to the end of the day. We should handle it as it comes and not let it build.

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20

We shouldn’t snap the moment someone says something that may offend us or does anything we don’t like. It tells us that our anger will not make us the people God desires us to be. We will not produce the fruit of righteousness if we dwell in anger.

“”Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11

Again- we should be slow to anger. That is what is sensible.

It is considered a wise man’s glory to overlook an offense. It doesn’t mean it is easy to overlook or that you won’t want to respond, but it is good to just let it go.

“Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the hearts of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9

I’m going to point out that Ecclesiastes was written by Solomon, who was considered to be the wisest man the world has ever known. He knows much, and he says that anger is in the heart of fools. It is not for those who seek after God.

“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” Proverbs 15:18

“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” Proverbs 16:32

In both of these verses, I have seen other translations that translate “slow to anger” as “patient”. Part of being level headed and slow to anger is being patient and calm (Another issue of mine).

The patient man can calm quarrels between people, and it says he is better than one who takes a city- better than that mighty man who many respect.

“Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” Proverbs 14:29

The parallels are once again drawn between a patient man having wisdom (understanding) and an angry man being a fool (folly). It becomes pretty clear throughout the scriptures that God wants us to be patient and slow to anger.

There are many other verses that tie into this, but I will leave it at those. I think God’s point about our anger is pretty obvious.

It’s a struggle, certainly. I strive every day to overcome my temper and to be patient. I am definitely still working on it. It doesn’t happen instantly with a quick prayer to make it go away.

I’ve seen in my prayer life that when I pray for patience, God doesn’t instantly give it to me, He gives me opportunities to be patient and I learn through those how to be patient. When I pray for my temper to be controlled, He gives me things that ordinarily would make me mad so that I can learn to control it.

He has already given us the tool we need to learn these things- the Holy Spirit. If we are in Him, the Spirit can teach us to be patient and controlled as long as we listen, and don’t quench it (Therein lies my problem).

Learning to be controlled as God instructs us to be is a process. That’s for sure. However it is possible with His assistance. So don’t give up.

And just listen to Him. He’ll help you if you let Him.

I Refuse

“I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself, oh I could choose not to move, but I refuse.” –I Refuse, Josh Wilson

Recently, this has become one of my favorite songs. If you haven’t heard it, go listen to it (Right now. It’s awesome). It hits a lot of points that can be hard to hear, but we need to think about them.

We oftentimes when we hear of a problem do nothing about it. Sure, we may send a prayer their way, but we don’t do anything about it ourselves. We always want someone else to do something. We would like something to happen, but if helping messes with our comfort or schedule, it doesn’t happen.

We pray God would send someone. Did you ever think that that someone could be you?

I’m not just talking about missions. I’m talking about something as simple as sharing Christ with your best friend, or sponsoring a child in need or doing a simple service project.

We may take our friend to church and hope that the pastor’s words will reach their heart. But a man speaking from a pulpit will never have the same place in the heart of your friend that you do. He won’t command the same level of respect that you will. And besides, it’s not just the pastor’s job to share the gospel. It’s all of ours. I know it’s not easy and, speaking from personal experience, I know you will not always succeed. You will fail and you will feel like you bumbled through it and there was no fruit in what you did. But you never know when your words will come back to that person and effect them later in life. So do it.

If you feel lead to go help out people through volunteer work, then don’t wait for someone else to go. Do it. You never know how much good you can do helping those people, and you could use that as an opportunity to share Christ with them.

Always be attentive to the Spirit’s urging. Yes it can disrupt your plans, even multiple times in a row. Look at Paul in Acts 16:6-10. First they wanted to go to Asia, but it says they were forbidden by the Spirit from going there. Then they tried to go into Bithynia, but as it says in verse 7 “The Spirit of Jesus did not allow them.”

Keep in mind, they aren’t driving of flying to these places. They are either walking or sailing. So they go hundreds of miles, just to be told no once again.

Finally Paul receives a vision to go to Macedonia. And he goes immediately.

Immediately.

He begins the long trek to Macedonia as soon as he can. He doesn’t grumble or complaining because the Spirit disrupted his plans twice in a row. He sets out straightaway.

What if we had that kind of attentiveness and obedience to the Spirit’s calling? To be willing to do whatever He has called us to do, be it something large or small, as soon as He calls us to it. I think it would certainly bring about a revival in our lives and in our churches.

What if we stopped praying for God to send people to provide the needs of others and instead prayed, asking God what He would have us do to address those needs?

I think we should stop just praying for the needs of others. I’m not saying we should stop praying for them, but that we should also be willing to do something for it.

God uses people to help other people, and if no one is willing to go because they believe someone else will, then who will be left to go?

There are needs all around us that we can address, even right in our own home towns. And we can use those opportunities not only to help, but to bring Jesus to these people.

“Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:40

As a bit of encouragement- in Matthew, serving others is likened to serving Christ. If we are listening to the Holy Spirit and doing what it tells us, we will be serving Christ.

So in choosing to wait for someone else to follow the spirit, we in turn aren’t serving Christ the way we are commanded to.

And that’s something that I refuse to do. I refuse to wait for someone else to do what God has asked me to. 

Wake Up!

“Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name.” Acts 5:41

Wow… I don’t have any words to describe the wonder I have at the believers at this time. They had just been beaten and ordered not to teach the name of Jesus. And they were rejoicing.

And it didn’t stop there-

“And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they did not cease teaching and preaching that the Christ is Jesus.” Acts 5:42

So… they were beaten and ordered not to reach Jesus... and what did they do? They kept at it every day. And not just kept at it, but did it right in front of the people who had had them beaten. They were in the temple, exactly where their opposition would be.

They didn’t shy away from conflict. They held their ground, no matter what. They were not treated fairly by those around them. They were beaten and imprisoned, some even killed, on false accusations, and they were only accused because they believed in Christ. They just wanted others to know Him.

Their only crime was being Christians.

And they were beaten and imprisoned for it, or like Stephen, they were killed.

In America, this is unheard of. We expect fair treatment and equality. We are so used to being able to worship without any problem that we have become complacent. We never even entertain the thought that persecution could come our way. It could, and it will. We don’t know when or in what form, but it will come to us.

The other thing our complacency has made us do is forget. We forget about our brothers and sisters in other nations that are being persecuted for their faith. Those people that are being imprisoned or killed or beaten and kidnapped simply because they believe in the name of Christ.

Yet many of these people, like those found in Acts, are rejoicing. They are thanking God for bringing the Word to them and for giving them the opportunity to share Christ, even at the risk of their lives. They know they are not safe, nor are their families. They risk literally everything to know Christ.

And we’ve forgotten about them. We don’t even take the time to pray for our persecuted family across the world. And there are a lot of them.

Many places are not like America, where we have nothing to fear from our faith. Many people can’t gather openly in churches to worship.

And yet they still follow Christ and try to share Him, despite their peril.

I think the faith of these people is incredible, and I think that if they saw the American church… honestly I believe that they’d be disgusted. We have the gospel and are open to believe what we want, yet we won’t share it with those around us… And why won’t we?

From what I’ve seen, there are two main reasons. Number one is that we’re scared of what people might think about us. Seriously? We have brothers and sisters dying around the world to share Christ and we’re afraid of people making fun of us? In America, we have no danger to our lives and we won’t share anyways.

The other reason I’ve heard is; “I’m just too busy.” Again- really? We spend so much time on things that have no eternal value. And we can’t take some time out of our “busy” schedule to make an eternal impact?

There are two things I find in common within these two reasons. One is that they’re both about us. I’m afraid of what they’ll say about me. I’m too busy and it’ll mess with my schedule. This life isn’t supposed to be about us. It’s about Christ. The other thing they have in common is that they are not really reasons. They’re just excuses.

I know that when I die, I don’t want to stand in front of God and try to explain why I didn’t share His Son with the world with these excuses. Imagine that for a second, (really, try that in your head) and you’ll realize how weak those excuses are in the scheme of things.

So maybe it’s time to wake up a little. Realize that we aren’t the most important one in the world. See that He is.

I pray that He will give us the strength to turn this world upside down in His name. I pray that He’ll start a revival in the American church and give us a feverish love for Him. I pray that he would protect His children all over the world, no matter where they are.

And more than anything, I thank Him for the gift of His Son. 

Don't Worry, God's Got This

“Do not be afraid”

These words show up in various forms 300+ times throughout the bible. (I believe the number is 365 actually, cool huh?) We are told this so many times, but yet as humans we still fear. I know I struggle with this on a daily basis. Even though I’ve been told not to be afraid literally hundreds of times.

My biggest fear is probably the fear of man. I am terrified of the people around me. I am terrified of what they may think of me at any given time. I am afraid of what they may say or do to me.

I believe this fear is common to the whole of mankind. No one likes people talking behind their back and everyone worries about what others might be capable of. I think that’s one of the reasons Jesus addresses this fear specifically in Matthew:

“And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who is able to destroy both body and soul in hell.” Matthew 10:28

In the sense of eternity, what can man really do to us? They can’t do anything to our souls, and those are what lasts. So we might as well live for the One who holds our eternity.

Later in the same passage, Jesus gives us another reason not to fear:

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs on your head are numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31

He who know what happens to every bird has counted the very hairs on our heads. He knows everything about us and cares more about us than the birds He made. He promises to take care of us and knows everything that our future holds.

As a small disclaimer however, He does not ever say that nothing bad will happen and that we’ll have a fantastic life and get rich and all of that. The so called “prosperity gospel” that is so often taught is completely contrary to Jesus’ teachings. He teaches almost the exact opposite of that. He says the world will persecute and hate us. However He includes a promise with this.

“And you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.” Matthew 10:22

Many other times He tells us that we will be persecuted because He was persecuted. (2 Timothy 3:12; John 15:20) But we know that he will give us strength to endure. Nothing can happen to us without His permission and, as it says in romans 8:28, God does work all things together for the good of those who love Him, and towards His ultimate purpose.

Another common fear that I used to struggle with was the fear of death and dying. Then I started to wonder why I fear that so much. If I am confident in Christ, shouldn’t I look forward to my death for the life afterwards with Christ?

Think about what Paul said to the church in Philippi-

“For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21

We should live our lives reflecting Christ, and when we die we get to go to an eternity with Him. So, instead of fearing death, I really think we should look forward to the life afterwards.

Then there is the lesser for of fear; worry. We worry about our clothes and hair and our food and our houses and friends. We obsess over the future and get agitated over the past. But this is not condoned in the bible. As a matter of fact, we are told not to worry.

“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.” Matthew 6:31-34

This is the ESV translation, so many of you are probably accustomed to the NIV’s translation of anxious being worry instead, but with either version, it boils down to the fact that we are not supposed to worry.

God knows exactly what we need and will add them to us when He thinks is right. Our only concern should be seeking God in His righteousness. Nothing else should be as important to us as that. And if we are so fully fixated on God like that, will we really have room to worry about anything?

It’s the last part of this section that really strikes me. As someone who has just chosen a college and will be going next fall, I find myself constantly worrying about my future. I don’t know what’s coming and I don’t know what to expect. But Christ tells me not to be anxious about tomorrow. It doesn’t matter what tomorrow might hold, God will take care of me and I have to trust that.

So remember one thing next time you are afraid or worried. God’s got this. He is the creator of everything and He will take care of you. It won’t always be easy or fun, but if you believe in Him, He will lead you to where you need to be.