After the Rain

"It's amazing how beautiful a storm looks once you're past it." I remember making that comment to a dear friend of mine after we had just driven through a powerful storm on the 30 hour ride from Michigan to Idaho. It had been a very stressful stretch of road, but looking back on the clouds, (once safely through) it left me with a sense of awe, wonder, and beauty.

In the two months since that trip, I've found myself in another stressful stretch of road, so to speak. As Adam and I prepared for our move here to Canada, I became progressively more anxious about the storm clouds that I perceived were looming above us ominously. We were quitting our jobs, stepping down from the youth group we had become very attached to, saying goodbye to friends we love dearly, packing up our life, and leaving everything that we knew and that was familiar to us. For quite a while, I lost sight of our goal (The road, shall we say?) because I focused so hard on the darkening clouds.

It's amazing how prone I am to that; no matter how many storms God has brought me through. God pulls me through the storm, and then I turn around, see how He's changed me through it, and go, "Wow. what a beautiful storm that was".

And then I do it all over again.

The clouds start to darken and I can't tear my focus away from them. I forget the God who has continued to walk me through storm after storm. He's the God who makes flowers bloom up through the rocks and gravel. He's the God who grows us through the most adverse of circumstances.

Habakkuk 3:17 describes what sounds like an incredible and powerful storm. It's talks about the trees being unable to blossom, harvest failing, no livestock owned, and many other hardships. Basically, no physical needs had any hopes of being met. I don't know about you, but I'we never been in a storm that bad. So what's Habakkuk's response? Is it to look at the storm and cry out in hopelessness? Is it to turn his back on God and reject Him because of the impossibility of the circumstances? No, not at all. Instead, he looks at the One he knows will bring him through the storm. He says he will find joy in the God of his salvation. He trusts the Lord to be his strength and to bring him through.

Oh that my response could be like Habakkuk's! When clouds start to loom, oh that I could say, "Yet I will rejoice in the LORD"! But that's the cool things about God and His graciousness; I'll have another chance... and another... and another. He doesn't consider me a lost cause or a failure just because I failed to see Him during my most recent storm.

The clouds from this transition haven't quite cleared, but the thunder and lightning have definitely slowed, and I'm starting to see the beauty of the storm. God brought me through, as He always has, and I pray that in life's next storm, my response will be the same as that of Habakkuk, "Yet I will rejoice in the LORD".

“Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. LORD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places.”
Habakkuk 3:17-19

Past and Future Plans

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted! I'm not always the best at this blogging thing, but I really do want to keep everyone in the loop about what's going on with my life. So first, thanks for reading and (hopefully) sticking through to the end of what may end up being a rather lengthy post.

As anyone who is reading this blog hopefully knows, my name is Rachel Copelin (previously Winsor, we'll get to that 😊) and the name of my blog is "Life in the Blink of an Eye". When I made this blog as a teen in high school, I had no idea that just a few short years later, I would be feeling the truth of that title heavily. The last couple years have flown by; faster than a blink. So much had happened. Let's start with that. 

I graduated high school back in 2014, and went on to spend a summer in Guatemala, which I posted often about. During this time (and the year leading up to it) I felt a pull toward mission work after seeing the need for it in that country. So after a little research, I started attending New Tribes Bible Institute the next fall. There, I spent two years immersed in the word and hearing from various missionaries about their work. While I was there, I also met an amazing man named Adam. I graduated the school and married him immediately (I couldn't let this one slip away, and so I became a Copelin). That was a little over a year ago. 

So what's been going on the last year? Mostly work. We have been working to save up money for the next stage of training; Eminate in Canada. This is under the organization Ethnos 360 (formerly New Tribes Mission). We have also been serving in both the preschool ministry and the youth group in our church. I have the amazing opportunity to get to know the high school girls from my church and speak God's truth into their lives. It's been so great to see growth in these young women. Adam teaches the high schoolers and then leads the boys group after the lesson. Now that it's summer, however we meet less regularly until school starts up again but we still look forward to interaction with the youth as much as possible. 

The next question to answer is, where are we going? As I already stated, we hope in the next couple of years to head to Eminate for extra training with Ethnos 360. And what is our goal? Well, first there's something that you all need to know. You need to know that there are thousands of people groups who have never heard the name of Jesus. There are thousands of languages that have never had the word of God translated. Our goal is that those people would be reached. God desires that all can be saved, and how can that happen without them hearing? We don't know where we will end up yet; that is dependant on God. But we want to be involved in this.  

Thanks for reading if you got this far. I'm just about done. I just want to say we would appreciate your prayers as we take the next steps that will determine our future in this. We appreciate you all so much and can't wait to share with you where God takes us! 

Updates! Updates! Updates!

First of all, wow it's been a long time since I've posted. A lot has happened since then and I've said the sum total of none of it. Sorry about that. So I'll catch you all up to speed before being all serious.

First big thing I should mention; I'm engaged! Yeah that happened. Seriously though, getting married in just a couple weeks to my amazing Adam and I really look forward to it. I have a great guy and am so lucky to be with him.

Next, I am graduating from New Tribes Bible Institute in just a week and a half.  Crazy, right? Two years of my life went by so fast but it was worth the time. These have been some of the best weeks of my life, just growing and getting to know God better and better. I am so grateful for what God has done in me, even though it has been a trial.

The final thing I wanted to update you guys about was our senior trip that we took to Wayumi. Guys, I can't even explain it. It was one of the hardest, yet best weeks I've had in a long time. It forced me to rely wholly on God. Adam wasn't there to comfort me through the struggles that challenged our whole class and the only one I could trust to be there for me fully was God. And it was so worth it.
The trip also gave me a closer look at what if will look like to be involved in Missions, and let me tell you, it was frightening and amazing at the same time. I loved the language studies and learning what it takes to learn a language perviously unspoken and that excited me. But I also saw the trial of what these tribes do to each other and the violence and sin and it reminded me that they need Christ as we do and that's why I need to go.

Lastly, I just wanted to give you all an encouragement from what God's been teaching me. And that's just to walk with Him guys. Seriously, it's the best (and hardest) decision you can make. I saw a period while I was here that I wasn't and He just got ahold of my heart and pushed me to listen and trust Him. And the change I've seen in myself and my attitudes and I've walked beside Him and been honest. No amount of sin can take away your salvation, but it can really strain your fellowship with Him. But the cool thing is, He tells us in 1 John  that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive. And that's taking about fellowship guys. We can agree with Him about our sin and He will take that and pull us right back beside Him to continue our walk. And that's so cool. It's hard, because if means admitting when you're wrong and sucking up your price, but let me tell you, it is so worth it.

A Summer of Shortcomings

Wow, the summer is almost gone. In just a few days, I will be heading back to New Tribes Bible Institute to complete my second year of study as I continue to pursue missions. It has been an interesting summer, and it would be a lie to say I floated through it easily. I saw a lot of my own problems as I went through this summer and I learned a lot through it.

There were a lot of my own shortcomings I faced, but I also saw what God’s word says about it during my studies.

I worry about everything… a lot.

I way this in myself constantly this summer. I worried about my friends that I was away from. I worried about my future and my relationship. I worried about how I reacted to the people around me. I worried about where the money for this coming semester was going to come from. In short, if there was something I could worry about, I did,

Matthew 6:31-33 “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Philippians 4:6-7 “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

There are so many verses about worry in the Bible. God says so many times that we should not worry. He also talks about the remedy of worry- Keeping my mind on Him and being constantly in prayer. When I worry, instead of obsessing and stressing, my first response should be to come to God in prayer.

I don’t think about what I say as often as I should.

From time to time, my mouth opens before my brain thinks it through, or I just end up saying more than I should. And when that happens, it is almost exclusively insulting, rude or hurtful. Most of these times I end up regretting what I say and wish I could take it back.

Proverbs 10:19 “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Proverbs 12:18 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Proverbs 13:3 “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life: he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”

I spent the first part of the summer studying the wisdom of Proverbs, and all it has to say about the tongue hit me hard. It talks a lot about restraining your words and thinking through them before speaking. Many words are not usually good or necessary, and choosing just a few words wisely is almost invariably more effective, as well as less hurtful.

When I am having problems, I tend to bury them.

Whenever I am upset or hurting, I hide it. I tend to not let anyone know, and even go so far as to lie about it so that no one will know I am hurting. I will disappear to be on my own and want nothing to do with anyone else.

Ephesians 4:25 “Therefore, having put away falsehood let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”

1 Corinthians 12:12-13 “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.”

1 Corinthians 12:25-26 “…but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” 

When I make the choice to lie about my suffering and hurt, I am injuring the body by not getting the help I may need at that point in time. When I hide my hurt, it gets worse and eventually it shows itself worse than before and hurts the others around me. I am not just an individual living my own life, I am part of a body and my emotions and problems affect more than just me and I need to be conscious of that.

Those are just a few of the lessons I’ve learned this last summer. I don’t think I would have room to talk about everything I have learned, including things about patience and anger. God has really worked on showing me my own shortcomings this summer and showing me how He thinks about them. I can’t say my problems are gone or my issues are conquered, but God is good and He will continue to teach as I continue to fail. 

Easter is Enough

Easter Sunday. A day we celebrate Christ’s rising from the dead, His victory over death. The end of the weekend where we contemplate His suffering and the horrendous death He faced, along with the separation from the Father. Sunday. A day of remembrance and celebration.

And then it becomes Monday. Maybe we still take a moment to think about it, to send a quick “thank you” kind of shout out to God for His salvation. Then it becomes Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday… and soon the celebration of the resurrection is nothing more than a distant memory and we have pushed it to the back of our minds for another year.

It doesn’t take long for us to get back into the routine of our lives and for us to forget the great things He has done for us. And even beyond forgetting, we start to backslide from joyous remembrance to angry disappointment. We are once again faced with the trials and struggles of life and we may even turn back to god to shake our fist at Him; to blame Him for our problems.

I am as guilty of this as anyone. When things are hard for me, I don’t turn to what he has done for me. I look as what He hasn’t done. When a friend from high school drowned, I asked God how He could do that. When my mom was suffering from cancer and it took her just months after my friend had died, I couldn’t understand God’s choosing not to heal her or why He couldn’t have at least given me some time to grieve for my friend. As I fight a daily battle with depression, I ask God why He hasn’t taken it from me. Every time I’m faced with the difficulties of life, I don’t run into His arms; I turn my back on Him and scream at Him.

And yet, look at what He has done for me.

I think back to a week ago at school when we had a speaker come in. I remember one thing he said clearer than any other; If God never did anything for us beyond saving us, that is enough. As first I blanched back from this. I couldn’t understand how this man speaking could say that. My thoughts were along the lines of, what about that is wrong with the world? Pain, death, disaster… How can this man say that God’s done enough? And then I thought about it. God paid the ultimate cost for us by taking on human form through the Person of Christ. He saved people who should be nothing to Him. People who, as a race, had turned their back on Him.

In our human thoughts, the proper response to betrayal is to, in turn, turn our backs on the betrayer. However God, in His infinite love and grace decided to do the unthinkable from a human perspective; He reconciled us to Himself.

So I guess now I have to ask myself the other question; how can I say that what He has done isn’t enough?

Who am I to judge what God does when He has already taken care of the worst fate that humanity can face through His Son, and all we have to do to have this salvation is to believe? If God stepped back and just let the world run its course in this present evil age, He has still done enough. He would have been just to condemn the whole world to hell and He chose a different course.

I know that I’m not going to always remember this in the hard times, but I know that what we celebrate today is enough. Christ’s death and resurrection is more than we deserve. Easter is enough. I pray that as this day passes and we move on with our lives that He would bring into our remembrance that He truly has done enough.

He is Risen. 

Human Thought for Heavenly Worship

“What’s God done for you? After what you’ve been through, how can you still praise him?” I have heard that question so many times from my non-believing friends since the time that my mom died. They all believe that since this God of mine took my mother away while I was only 15 that I should hate Him for it. They believe that I should have turned my back on Him when He allowed me to watch the cancer slowly desolate her. It showed me their faulty knowledge of my God, and it also made me think, why do I worship? What’s the point? It even made me doubt for a time as I wrestled with that question and my anger at Him. Even through this time however, I never turned away from Him, even though at times I wasn’t sure why. Now however, I know that there are so many reasons to, and my human mind will never exhaust all of the reasons to.

                 So why worship?

                 Because I am nothing and He is everything.

                 As someone who has dealt with depression and even attempted suicide, I know what it’s like to come to the end of myself, to see myself as utterly despondent and needy and having seemly no reason to continue on. However, even though I tried to end it, God didn’t let me. I woke up. I have realized that I am worthless; nothing, especially in comparison to an almighty, perfect and matchless God. Yet He gives me worth. He has loved me, a nothing, so much that He redeemed me and gave my life through His son.

                 Because He is our Creator.

                 How many times have I found myself worshipping the created things, and yet not taking the time to worship the Creator of those things? He didn’t just create a monotone world with very little. He created a world of color and beauty. He has given us everything we could ever need and so much more and that alone is a reason to bow before Him.

                 Because He desires a relationship with us.

                 God didn’t just create us and leave us to fend for ourselves; He wants us to know Him. He has given us the Word to reveal Himself, and even in that, given us His personal name, Yahweh, to call Him by. He is not some far off deity that many cultures worship and He does not need to be manipulated. He allows us to come before Him in confidence and to talk to Him openly. Through Christ, we are allowed to stand boldly before God in a way that we could have never before and that is amazing.

                 Because He never changes, He never has and He never will.

                 This particular reason became quite clear to me soon after my mom died. My life will change, and so will my heart, but God will not. He is consistent and because He never changes, neither will what He says. He isn’t an indecisive being and He does not change His mind. My mother dying did not change who God was. His taking of her did not make Him less trustworthy or less powerful. It did not make Him a villain or someone that was worthy of my hatred. It did not make Him anything less than what He had been before.

                 Because God is powerful, all-knowing and all-wise.

                 God is capable of anything. He has the power to bring about any disaster or any miracle. He also has knowledge greater than the universe and He knows how to use it. There is never any doubting in God’s mind and nothing ever surprises Him. The only questions he asks are the ones to make us search ourselves.

                 Because God is good.

                 This one ties in with the last point quite a bit. If the all-powerful, all-knowing and all-wise God is also good than we need to trust Him. He doesn’t sit on His heavenly throne, wringing his proverbial hands and wondering what He is going to do in some situations. He is never out of control. Therefore, when he allows difficulties into our lives, we need to believe that He is bringing things about for His purposes. It isn’t easy to believe this in the moment, but looking back in life, God always has a plan. We may not see it this side of life, but that’s why we need to trust that in His eternal self, He has things under control.

                 So why worship?

                 The ultimately reason to worship God is this; because God is God. He is the great I AM. He is everything when we are nothing. He is higher than anything our finite minds can conjure up and He will always be that. He has always existed and will never die. He is infinite, we are finite. He is holy, we are sinners. He is good, we are evil. He is everything that we are not and that alone is reason enough to worship.                                                               

                 

God Plus.. What?

So, as I’ve continued my studies at New Tribes, I’ve found myself learning so much in my classes; God’s faithfulness, judgment, mercy and so many other things. However, many of the hardest personal lessons I’ve come to learn aren’t learned in class. Sure, they may be brought up by a piece of class or a chapel lesson, but they only hit me when I’m sitting on my own, in silence before my LORD.

Something that I’ve found myself struggling with is trust. I’m willing to do what God says, if He shows me where He’s directing me. I’m willing to go the distance, as long as He makes it clear how He will provide for me in that. I will follow in His footsteps if…

And that’s where He’s been hitting me lately, right in the if.

In chapel, one of our teachers read a simple quote, God plus nothing. At first, I nodded to it, without even applying it to myself. Pretty much, my thought line was, that sounds great. God plus nothing. Why not?

And that’s when He drew my attention. I realized that I don’t truly follow that statement. For me it’s always God plus… It’s God plus safety, God plus provision, God plus people, God plus reassurance… God plus something.

I don’t trust Him enough to put my trust in Him alone.

I may be going in the direction that He has been showing me for my life, but it’s always with those thoughts in the back of my minds. It’s always needing a second opinion about what He’s showing me. I can’t seem to do anything without something extra besides God. My sight is always on the how of getting things done, and not the Who that holds those things, and the whole world, in His hands.

Proverbs 16:3 tells us, Commit your work to the LORD and your plans will be established. If we commit what we do to God, then He will mold our plans into His own, and He always brings about what is best ultimately. That might not mean safety or ease. It could mean disappointment and discouragement. However, God knows the future and He knows what will happen. I need to trust Him in that.

If He shows me a path that seems difficult, my first response needs to not be, how am I going to conquer this? It should be, God’s got this. I’m going to fix my eyes on Him and trust Him.

I don’t want to be like Peter, who took his eyes of Jesus on the water. He let the fear of what he was doing overtake him and looked away from his Savior. That’s when he sank.

Life isn’t about fear. It’s not God plus the waves or God plus the storm. I can’t let the if I’ve leaned on so long to be the factor that controls me when I find myself climbing up a mountain that seems too steep for me. Instead of focusing on the mountain, I want to fixate on my Savior.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

If God has me doing something, then He will make me capable or it. It’s not me that makes it possible or other people’s opinions that matter. It’s simply Him that is what needs to be relied on.

God plus nothing. 

It Could Cost You Your Life

It could cost you your life…

As my teachers talk in class at New Tribes Bible Institute and I think through what I’m learning, this is what I keep coming back to; the realization that if I continue to pursue overseas missions that I could be giving up everything I have ever had. I’m not just talking about the promising and prosperous life in the States that many friends and family seem so sure I’m guaranteed to have if I stay here. I could be giving up the very breath that I breathe. People can, and do, die on the mission field, and I can’t just say something along the lines of, “Oh, that can’t happen to me”, because it could happen to me, as it could to any other missionary on the field. Trying to reach people who have never heard the Gospel of Christ could easily cost me my life.

Ant the more I’ve thought through this, the more I’ve come to realize that I am okay with it costing me my life. Why? Because it already has.

My life is immaterial, nothing more than a breath in eternity. Yet Christ came down from His perfect heaven and died for mere breaths; sinners like me who deserved eternal hell. He took our punishment upon Himself while we rejected Him, and to accept that gift of salvation, all we have to do is believe in Him and what He did for us.

I’ve come to the realization that I want to please the God who did that for all of us. I know that that won’t make a difference in being saved; my works are not what cause my salvation. I’m grateful for the work that He has already completed, and as a follower of Christ I want to live for Him. And if I truly follow in His footsteps, that means I die with Him.

The thing about that is this; I have died with Him. Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me.

This is why I have come to be okay with the idea of losing my life for this. I no longer belong to myself, I belong to Christ, and nothing better could happen to me. God opened up my eyes to what is Real, and what is Real is Him. I find my identity in Him, and He died for me. Therefore, I will live for Him.

I’m not perfect, nor do I show Christ perfectly. I am still human and still struggle with sin. However, He continues to grow in me and though I know I will never be perfected as long as I live in this human body, He is faithful, as He always has been.

He knows what He has planned for me. That doesn’t mean His plans are going to be easy or simple. That doesn’t mean I won’t get sick or always be safe. What it does mean is that I can rest in Him and His faithfulness. I can rest in the fact that here I serve Him and when I die, I will be with Him.

And that’s something else- I’m going to die someday anyway. It’s a fact of life; no one makes it out alive. So why shouldn’t I spend my life sharing the only thing in this life that has kept me alive. I attempted suicide once, and it is by His grace that I’m here. If it wasn’t for God and what He’s taught me, I have no doubt that I would have tried again. He has given me joy that has stopped me from a second attempt and He reminds me that, though in myself I have not worth, because of the gift of His Son, I have infinite worth. Because He gave me the gift of life, both spiritually and physically, my life is forfeit to His will. I have no qualms about sharing His gift with those who have never heard and have no chance to hear unless someone brings His Word to them.

The best part is that He has given me new life, and it’s His. So yeah, it will cost me my life, and it already has.  

Who Will it Be?

“If not us, tell me who will be, like Jesus, like Jesus to the least of these” –Audio Adrenaline; Kings and Queens

This is a line from one of my favorite songs in the world, but the meaning of it never took full shape until I listened to it today- the first time I heard it since I was an intern at an orphanage in Guatemala. All of the sudden, the lyrics took a new form.

I thought about the work I did this summer, serving the Lord and loving those kids that I miss so much now. I thought about how I did my best to show them Christ’s love for them and that they had worth and a purpose in Him. I couldn’t have done that without going.

There are children all over the world that have never known love or compassion. They’ve never felt the warmth of a hug or seen the gentleness of a smile. They’ll never come to know Christ because no one is there to show Him.

Yet so many of us still sit here, safe at home on our couches, thinking that someone else will reach out to these precious children. We may sponsor a missionary or even a child (And don’t think I’m discouraging those things, they are fantastic) but we never go ourselves. I’m not saying that everyone is called to other countries but there are children facing this problem over the whole world and there are probably some in your home town that you could reach out to. But there is still that excuse- that someone else will go.

What if every person said that?

There would be no one left to go.

There would be no one showing Christ to the lost.

There would be no one to love those broken children.

We as Christians are called to show Christ’s love to everyone. Now whether God is calling to local ministry, ministry within your country or worldwide ministry doesn’t make a difference. We are all called to some type of ministry and when we feel prompted to reach out to the least of these, we need to respond. We can’t just say that someone else will do what God is calling us to. If we won’t shine the light of Christ in the world as God’s children, then who will?

One other line in this song that I am particularly fond of is this- “And just like a drum I can hear their hearts beating/I know my God won’t let them be defeated”. It is true that God won’t let them be defeated by their circumstances, but so often what He uses to rescue them is us.

We have to be willing to follow Him into whatever He has planned.

We need to be ready to be used however He sees fit.

That could be going to a foreign country and working on an orphanage like I did. It could be fostering or adopting a child. It could be as simple as reaching out to that kid that is always alone in your town. The main thing is doing whatever God is leading you towards, no matter the cost.

Because eventually, we’ll run out of people who can say that someone else can do their job.

God has a purpose for every one of us individually. Follow Him and He will never lead you astray. Following His plan for you (I speak from experience in this) not only will change the lives of those He sends you to, but it will change yours as well.

(On a personal note) I know I am not the same since I got back from Guatemala, and I couldn’t be more grateful. I can’t wait to see what He has planned for me and I am ready for Him to send me wherever He deems fit.

Basically, I'm encouraging you to reach out; to show Christ's love however you can and wherever you are lead. There is no greater call than to be Christ to the world and, as Christians, it is a call we all have. 

Leaving Home

I wrote this a while ago, before I left Guatemala, but at the time I was hurting too much. So I’m posting it now, a week or so later and I’m still struggling just as a note.

[So this is a little less lesson and a lot more of just what’s going on. It’s Thursday as I am writing this and I’m leaving Guatemala tomorrow night. And it is breaking my heart. Last night was my last church service here and Katie asked me to speak. So I did. I’ll try to write what I said as close as I remember it.

Hey guys,

I just wanted to thank you guys for the time here and for allowing me to love on you guys. It has been incredible and I’m different because of it. I’ve learned to love more openly and honestly because of you guys.

When I came here, I was not a loving person and I was going to do things here the same way I did it back home. I was going to love ya’ll, but from a distance. I wasn’t going to love you strongly enough to get hurt or so that I would get attached… but… (This is where I started choking up and shaking and almost crying) but I couldn’t do that. From the very first week, I loved you. All of you.

I’ve grown to love every single person in this room. Every one of you means so much to me and it’s going to kill me to leave you. It is breaking my heart and it hurts so much, but know that I wouldn’t change a single moment. I’m praying that God is going to send me back here next year, but I don’t know if that is His plan for me yet. If it was my choice though, I wouldn’t come back next summer. I wouldn’t have to because I would never leave. I’d stay here with all of you.

So I guess what I wanted to say is thank you again. For letting me love you all, and for loving me back. It’s been a blessing. Thank you.

I wish that I had said more, but I couldn’t. I was on the verge of tears and my voice was starting to crack. But every word I said was true. I have learned to love deeper and more sacrificially than I ever have and I will love these kids my whole life, whether God sends me back or not.

It is breaking my heart though. When I started working on packing to go back, I sobbed. How can I leave these kids that have become my world and this place that has become more of a home than anywhere else?

There is one especially that every time I see him, I want to cry. God has laid this one specific child on my heart and at first, I thought; God, You’re crazy. This kids hates me. He glares at me all the time and yells at me (in Korean so I really couldn’t understand him [His old house parents were Korean]) and whenever I have to watch the boys’ house, he makes it clear that he doesn’t want me there from how he treats me. Finally though, I surrendered to His will and started focusing on loving this particular child. At first it was difficult, but I kept working on it and praying for him and after about two weeks, he started to not be so rude towards me, and when he would yell at me, it wasn’t so vehement, and more teasing. If I laughed about it he would smile at me instead of glare. He started picking on me the way the other boys that liked me did and he really started to grow on me. The other day he even came up and hugged me and started talking to me in slow enough Spanish that I would mostly understand. So after making so much progress with him and him finally liking me, I have to leave

Every single child in this place is precious to me. I love them all and nothing in me wants to leave. I don’t want tomorrow to come and ruin all of this. 

Needless to say, emotionally I’m a mess right now. But what I said to the kids last night still stand- despite the pain and the heartbreak, despite the tears, I wouldn’t change a moment and I am so glad that I learned to love these kids fully and completely.]

Now I am back in the United States and I have been for a week and two days… And it feels so… wrong. Wrong to have left the place that I loved and began to think of as home and wrong to have left those kids I love. Still God put me in Guatemala for a reason and He sent me back for a reason. I don’t know what that is, but it know there will be a purpose. I just hope that He chooses to send me back to my Guatemalan home soon.

Loving Dangerously?

So a couple of days ago (Wednesday) my perspective was a little skewed. I wasn’t in a great place spiritually and I had a post all ready about it. I since have come out of that place and had a change of perspective. I was just going to delete what I had written and not post it, but then I decided that I would show where I had been and then talk about what I have realized since then.

Here’s the original post from Wednesday-

[I’m going to admit right now; this is going to be a little different than my normal posts. Normally I post a lesson or something that God has been teaching me, but today this is more of a confession of a struggle of mine that has really been pushed in my face these last couple of days.

When our newest intern came a couple of weeks ago, he and I had a good conversation in the first few days. He talked about what he called “loving dangerously”. By that he meant loving even when you know you are going to get hurt and sacrificing yourself for others.

I thought it was a good theory, but not something I do. I love people, but from a distance. I don’t let myself be close enough to be hurt, because if life has taught me one thing, it’s that everyone leaves eventually. Loving others deeply and allowing yourself to get close only means pain for yourself. That’s how I’ve been the last couple of years. It’s how I think.

But it’s not how I’ve been able to operate here.

I didn’t even realize it, but the other people here started to steal my heart from the first week, especially the kids and the other interns. I fell totally in love with the kids and was finding new and very close friends in the other interns. I was opening up totally to loving others and I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was loving dangerously.

I didn’t realize it until today (Wednesday) when one of the other interns had to go to the hospital. I was scared for and worried about her. I was hurting for her and that’s when I realized how attached I was to everyone here.

I ended up sitting on the roof once again and thinking. I was hurting and mad at myself for it. I kept saying in my head; you know what happens when you get attached to others. You get hurt every time. You’ve learned that in the past. How can you be so stupid to let it happen again? Why open yourself up to this again?

Those thoughts were unrelenting. I was mad at myself for leaving myself vulnerable to this and honestly still kind of am.

I know that it’s far too late to distance myself from the others here, especially the kids. Once I get attached and love someone like that, I can’t stop. And that scares me. I’m leaving in only 9 days from when I’m writing this and I know that it’s going to tear me apart. I have already thought about leaving and how much I hate the idea; how much I want to stay with these children I love so much. Sometime during this month I started thinking of this place as home, and even referring to it as such. After a trip to Antigua with the other interns, I remember saying that I couldn’t wait to get home and sleep. And I meant it. This place has become a home to me because of the people. That’s not normal and very frightening.

And here’s the struggle part- normally in my posts, I’ve overcome something. I’ve learned something and have been able to press on. Not this time though. This time I’m still questioning, still wondering. Even as I type, I wonder whether it was worth getting so attached to the others here. This time I don’t have an answer. I know that as a Christian I am supposed to have those deep relationships, supposed to love sacrificially, but in my heart it’s just not reconciling. Are those deep relationships worth the pain that is inevitably hand in hand with them?

Sorry for the difference in my post. This is what I’m struggling with and I want to be totally honest about it.]

Since then I have realized that, though it’s hard, that is the kind of love we are called to. How could we not be? Christ had that kind of love for us and He gave everything for us. He experienced separation from His Father and that was more pain than we could imagine. He did it because He loves us.

When the intern that had surgery got back, I was so joyful. I was so happy to see that she was ok. I found that the joy of loving others was worth far more than the pain.

In short, God reminded me that being selfless and loving sacrificially is what we’re called to do as His children. We will experience pain in this life, but it will pale in comparison to the joy of when we hear those words-

“Well done, good and faithful servant… Enter into the joy of your master” Matthew 25:21

I think hearing those words is worth far more than worrying about any pain in this temporary life. 

God's Timing is Perfect

So last Wednesday, I had a pretty incredible day all around, but I’m only going to focus on one part of it right now.

I have been struggling with the idea of suffering in the world and it had been more difficult in this last week. As a couple of the interns and I sat on the roof on Wednesday, we walked about the reasons for suffering, but we never really came up with anything that was comforting for us.

I hadn’t been feeling well, so when the others left to go play soccer, I stayed up on the roof to rest. I picked up one of the books that my youth pastor had given me; Timothy Keller’s The Reason for God. This book argues many of the common arguments for why the God of the bible cannot exist and refutes them. (Read it sometime. It’s good).

The particular chapter I was on was talking about the argument of how the God of the bible could not exist in a world with so much suffering. Needless to say, considering my mood that morning, I was curious. The particular chapter had multiple convincing arguments, but there was one in particular that I hadn’t ever heard before; that our suffering now will increase our joy in the future. Keller used the example of how when we lose something (and we think it’s gone forever) that thing will be loved and much more appreciated if it’s found again. We only truly appreciate something when it has been lost and then found again.

I thought it was really interesting and I had never heard that take on it before. I took the book back to my room and set it on my top bunk. As I turned around, I saw something glinting under my bed. It was a ring and I bent down to pick it up, thinking that it might have been the ring that one of my friends had mentioned that they lost. But it wasn’t. It was my ring. My class ring.

I had lost this ring in Florida, on a school trip a few months ago. I had been sure I was never going to see it again. There was literally no way that this ring could have gotten from Florida to Guatemala short of the power of God. The clothes I brought here, along with the suitcase, none of them were anything I had had with me in Florida.

It just cemented what I had just read in Keller’s book. I had been sure I was never going to see this ring again, and when I found it, I almost cried. The ring reminded me of how God can use suffering ultimately for His good, and also how His timing it perfect.

Your Worst and God's Best

“You’re worthless… you aren’t as good as the rest of them… they don’t really want you around; they’re just trying to be nice… You will never measure up… you’ll always be second best... no one wants you around… you aren’t doing any good here.”

Those were the words I heard inside of my head today as I laid on the floor in tears today. It wasn’t my voice, and I knew it. It was the voice that I thought I had banished from my head close to three years ago; the same one that lead me into depression, pushed me to cut myself and almost caused me to end my own life.

I haven’t heard that voice in so many years, and I’ll admit, when it emerged, I was scared. I had thought it was gone from me forever until now. And after I recovered from the shock and fear, I thought; why now? Why when I’m here doing what I’m supposed to be doing and serving the Lord?

Then I realized that that’s exactly why it is happening; because I’m devoting myself to serving God. I am being a force for Him and to expect no opposition would be foolish. When you are devoting yourself to fighting for God, the enemy will not make it easy for you. I was reminded of that today. My most vulnerable point was struck and it hurt. As a matter of fact, on an emotional level it was excruciating.

However, the difficulty of spiritual warfare and the reminder of my past were not the only things that hit me today.

Just listen up for a second. This is where things get good.

I was reminded of God’s faithfulness to those who trust in Him and who cry out to Him.

As I lay on the ground, I didn’t even know what to say, but I knew I had to talk to Him. He was the only one who could keep me from the place I reached three years ago. There was nothing eloquent, nothing formal that I could say. It was simply “God, save me from this. Please God…”

At first nothing seemed to happen. I eventually found the strength to stop the tears and to walk out, but the voice still lingered. I tried to ignore it and decided I would go watch the soccer game that the kids were playing. I started walking toward the field and was stopped by one of the missionaries on campus. She asked me what was going on, and I told her, despite the voice fighting me. I told her that I felt worthless, that I felt life I couldn’t measure up to the other interns on campus and that I wasn’t anything like them.

That’s when she said something that the little voice didn’t know how to respond to. She said, “Rachel, you aren’t here to be David or Hannah, or anyone else. You are here to be Rachel. No one else is like you and God is using your individual personality to help in a way that no one else can.” She then reminded me of how I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God. And the little voice that had been nagging me suddenly went silent.

God used one of the other missionaries to reach me. He knew exactly what I needed to hear and used one of His people to show me that.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is just to put your trust in God, especially when you are being spiritually attacked. He is a good God, and as it says in Psalm 147, He is healing and understanding.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; he gives all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.” Psalm 147:3-5

Appreciation

I just came down from the mountains today as I am writing this (Which is a couple of days before it can be posted, lack of internet here) and it was such a spectacular view. Everything was beautiful and it just didn’t look real. It looked like it had to be a painting or picture. It was too perfect.

We were all just enjoying looking at it when one of my fellow interns made the comment; “Could you imagine if you couldn’t appreciate this? Like if you grew up here?” We all nodded and agreed with her, but it got me thinking. Isn’t that what we do a lot?

How often do we not appreciate what is in front of us? I know that so often I don’t. I spend so much time outside back at home, and the beauty around my just passes me by. If I take the time to look, I realize the woods I live next to is beautiful. The sky full of clouds, or the night time sky, it’s all incredible. But I am so used to it and never notice.

We are called to be content with the simple things of life. In 1^st Timothy 6:6-8, Paul says, “But godliness with contentment is great gain for we brought nothing into the world and we cannot take anything out of it. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.” We are called to be content with having only the necessities, but we still have so much more than that. Even if we merely have food, water and shelter, we also have the beauty of creation.

God didn’t have to give us the beauty around us, yet we still ignore it. We get so used to it that it just flutters around in the back of our minds, ignored. I guarantee, though, that if it suddenly just disappeared we would notice.

We always covet what others have and want so much more than we need, even though God has given us such things that we completely ignore. The creation around us is more glorious than we can imagine, if we only took the time to appreciate it.

Just go sometime. Go and look closely at the thing around you, the things you are so accustomed to.  It just might surprise you, if you look at it with fresh eyes, how beautiful it is, or how much things have changed. But you have to really look.

Appreciate what God has given you and be content with what you have, because you have even more than you ever realized.

Lessons From 30,000 Feet in the Air

If life is ever boring or you can’t figure something out or just in general if you want things to be different, I’ve always been told to look at things from a different perspective, and that’s exactly what happened to me today. I definitely got a new perspective on things, and I dare say that it was a higher perspective. 30,000 feet higher to be more specific.

(I’m on my way to Guatemala and was on a plane if you are curious). Anyways back to what I was saying.

On my flight today, I learned several things. I’m trying to figure out even where to start, so I guess I’ll just do them in the order I learned them.

First, I learned to trust more when God messes up my plans. My original flight got cancelled and I got all frustrated, but then we were able to schedule a flight to where my connection flight was scheduled to be and it ended up working that I would end up at the airport that I’m spending the night at around the same time that I would have gotten there with my other schedule. The nice part? I got to skip a connection flight, so it’s one less chance for my luggage to get lost. The better part? I ended up sitting next to a really nice woman that I chatted with on and off the whole flight. She was a Christian and when I told her about my internship, she was encouraging and I needed that. I would have never met her or gotten that encouragement with my original flight plans.

Second, I learned just how miniscule as people we are. As we flew up and I looked at the ground, the city looked like a kid’s play set. I could see roads and rivers, some houses and cars, but you know what I couldn’t see? I couldn’t see people. I knew they were there, hustling about their business, but I couldn’t see them. That’s what makes God’s love for us even more amazing- that He loves a species so tiny that they can’t even be see unless you are pretty close to the ground. He did everything for us, even though we are so tiny.

Third, I learned the value of God’s peace. The flight I was on was rather turbulent, so there was a lot of bouncing. I started to get a little motion sick, and I’ll admit, as I gazed out the window, I was feeling nervous. I didn’t like the bouncing and it made me uneasy. (I wasn’t the only one, either. A lot of people were shifting around and were clearly uncomfortable.) At one point I closed my eyes and put in my headphones, trying to block out everything. And as I did that, Hillsong’s song Still came onto my music, and it caught my attention. Here are the lyrics that interested me- When the oceans rise and thunders roar/I will soar with You above the storm/Father you are King over the flood/I will be still, and know You are God. I found it interesting, because at that point in time we were flying above some pretty black clouds. We were flying over a storm quite literally. And I realized that God was right there with us. I was soaring with Him over the storm in a very real fashion. That realization, as I began to talk to Him in a way I haven’t in a long time, brought me comfort. I understood what Paul was talking about when he wrote about how “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). God comforted me by revealing His presence to me and then by giving me His peace in a way I have never quite experienced it.

Lastly, God showed me His majesty and power (or a tiny piece of it anyway), and also how He connects things together in an amazing way. Before I got on my first flight, while I was waiting at that airport, I was reading in Job, specifically after God starts talking (Job 38-41).I made a single note in my Bible: The majesty and power of God… Woah. God is talking to Job about what He had done and it was awesome to me. And then as we were landing today, we had to descend from one of those storm clouds I was talking about. I watched the giant clouds roll past me and saw some lightning and God’s might hit me in a way it had never before. Those storm clouds rolled over us and I was able to watch them pass my window, close enough that if there had not been a window between us, I could have easily reached out and touched them. The beautiful and terrible storm revealed a piece of God that I don’t often think about. I know that He Is a powerful God, but I tend to like to focus on the loving part of God’s character. But He is so much more than that, and to be reminded of that was eye opening.

So, you could say I had an enlightening flight. Sometimes a perspective change is all that is needed, but with me, I guess it had to be a 30,000 foot change. 

A Short Deviation From My Normal Posts

It’s rare for me to deviate from my normal blogging content (In fact, I think this is the first time). However, I have something I wanted to share that is close to my heart.

I am a captain of a Relay for Life team. Relay is an event designed to raise money for the cancer research of all types. I chose to take on this responsibility after my mother died of cancer.

My mother and I had been very close, especially after she got sick. She decided to take on a team herself and captain it, and took me alongside to assist. Before every meeting we would go out to dinner, laugh and just spend time together.

(I actually wrote about the time after she got sick in a story format. If you go here you can read it. There are links to the next chapter at the bottom of every page)

But anyways, Relay is coming up this weekend. My team is trying to raise money, and I would appreciate any donation if you are willing to give it. You can donate here
I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading. 

The Goodness in Good Friday

As most people know, today we celebrate Good Friday.

 But where is the good in this day? Today was the day that our Great Savior was mocked and rejected. Today is the day that he was beaten and whipped. Today is the day that he was put on a cross and left to die. To the world today sounds like a dark day. It’s the day the darkness of humanity revealed itself and crucified the One who came to save it.

So where is the good in that?

Where is the good in the people, who merely a week beforehand were chanting “Hosanna” (Lord save now) as Christ rode into Jerusalem, turning one him and chanting “Crucify Him!” as Pontius Pilate asked what they should have him do? Where is the good in those people asking to have Barabbas, a dangerous criminal, released instead of Jesus? Where is the good in the people who took and divided his garments?

Where is the good in this day?

I’ll tell you where the good is.

The good comes in Jesus’ words “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). The good comes in Christ’s Words as He prayed to His Father, “Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). The good comes when Jesus uses His last breath on the cross to speak to His Father.

This is truly Good Friday.

The good comes in three days later, when Christ is raised and appears to His followers.

Jesus knew what He was doing when He came to this earth. He knew He was going to die and knew that He would be taking the sins of all mankind onto His shoulders till the point where God the Father could no longer look at His own Son. The good in Good Friday comes when Jesus died to forgive our sins.

Today might be the day that Christ died, but today is so much more than a death. Today is the precursor to resurrection Sunday; to the day that saved the world.

Good Friday was a dark day in the aspects of what happened to Christ and the suffering He endured, but He still went willing because He loved us.

So I hope as you all go through your day today that you take the time to think. It really is Good Friday. 

The Only One Who Won't Fail

Pain… anger… betrayal… Those are the moments I find myself at my lowest.

Those are also the moments God uses to remind me of Him.

It’s in the storms of my life that I have found God. The moments where I am broken and crying out to Him, asking for release, asking for help, or even blaming Him are the moments He carries me. He meets me where I am at. He knows how I feel and can take those problems.

I realize how lucky I am to have a perfect God as my friend and Father. I can turn to Him at any point. Even when I am hurt by those I considered to be my closest friends, He is always there, waiting for me to fall into His arms where I belong.

People will always fail you. No one is perfect, every person you let yourself open up to will hurt you. You will hurt others. It’s in the nature of being human. Relationships fail, friendships end, families break up. It is unfortunately the reality of this world. As soon as sin entered the world, the perfect relationships we were made to have were broken. We are still relational beings, and we still strive to have that perfection, but it doesn’t happen. Not with other humans.

The only One who can love us perfectly, who can fulfill our need for this kind of relationship is God. He is the only One who will be behind you every time you turn around. He is the only One who will never betray or hurt you.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have relationships with other people. We were made to. But we shouldn’t put our all into other people. That is only a way to get hurt. If you have a friendship or relationship where you think you’ll never get hurt, you’re wrong. You have to be aware that other people are as imperfect as you are.

We have to be forgiving as well. Knowing that others are the same as you, you know you’ll get hurt. But you have to be compassionate. Look at Stephen in Acts 7. As he was being stoned by those around him, he cries out to God. And he doesn’t ask to be saved or for God to take revenge on those killing him. He says, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” I want to be like this. I hold grudges when someone hurts me deeply. I want to see them hurt like I was. This is so wrong on my part. Christ died for me out of love, and I am supposed to show that love to others. How am I supposed to be like Him when I have this in my heart?

The only way to make a change in this aspect is to cling to Christ. To learn from Him. He is the only perfect person and I need to see my relationships with others through His eyes.

I get so tired of being hurt by others. So many time I just want to give up on others; to just isolate myself so I can’t be hurt once again and so I can’t hurt anyone else either. But I can’t do that and show Christ to the world. I just cannot do both.

There are things that are so much more important than my personal pain. Yes, I know I’ll get hurt. But I also know that I have God to turn to when I am.

No person can hurt me any more than God can heal me, and I have to trust in that. I have to know that when I am feeling alone, betrayed and abandoned that God is right there, taking care of me in ways I never even imagined.

So it doesn’t matter what people do to me. I will always have Him to fall back on. And I will always trust in that. 

A Stiffed-Neck and Adulterous People... Not Just the Israelites

When I am reading in the Old Testament, I am always astounded by the Israelites, and not in a good way. God promised them blessings if they obey His commandments and do not turn aside to other gods. And time after time, they turn away. They are referred to as a “stiffed-neck” and “adulterous” people multiple times, and trouble come to them because of it.

In my conceit, I always considered them to be such a foolish people. How could they continue in this pattern and face the same consequences over and over again? Then, when I what reading recently, I got a serious reality check.

I am the same way. I turn my attention off of God, worshiping other things in my heart, and I certainly face consequences for it. When I walk in my hardness of heart, I hurt both others and myself so badly. When I walk with God and am focused on Him, I have joy despite the circumstances, I guard my tongue, and I am not nearly so temperamental. When I am close to Him, I have His peace and he takes care of me. You’d think I’d learn, wouldn’t you. I realize I am just as foolish as the Israelites, as are many Christians today.

We drift away from God and then wonder why our hearts are so burdened and what has changed.

We blame God and ask Him what He’s doing, even though it’s our fault. Just like the Israelites.

Luckily, that wasn’t the way their stories ended, and it’s not how ours end either.

Eventually it heir oppression, the Israelites would always end up crying out to God. And He always sent someone to rescue them and to lead them back to Him. He never ignores their cry, despite the numerous amount of times that they turned their backs on Him.

The same can go for us. Even in our idolatry, God will rescue us out of it. He forgives us and brings us back.

It’s not an easy process, but we are God’s people, as the Israelites were. We are His children, and just as children who have gone astray, we need to be disciplined and brought back to Him.

It says in Proverbs 13:24 “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but whoever loves him is diligent to discipline him.” We should not be resentful when He chooses to discipline us. We should be grateful because it is a show of His love and affection for us, as it was for His people in the Old Testament.

He is a patient God, but that is not to be taken advantage of. He disciplines us to draw us to Him, not to allow us to go in whatever path we deem is the most enjoyable for ourselves. He wants what is best for us, and that is walking in step with Him.

I was really humbled when I realized all of this. I think I’m so great, but in all reality, I’m not at all. I am not better than this group of people that I once thought so foolish. The more I read the Old Testament, now that I see my faults, the more I understand the hearts of the Israelites. It doesn’t excuse them, and it certainly doesn’t excuse me. It just reminds me to not be so prideful, because I am no better.

So many people when they think of idol worship think of making carven images and worshiping that. So they think things along the line of “Well I don’t do that. I’m not like the Israelites.”

I used to think like that too, until I realized that idols aren’t always carven images, As a matter of fact, in our world, they most of the time aren’t. An idol is anything that we spend most of our time on and consumes our heart more than God. We don’t even really notice, but we worship these things all the time.

Here’s a few of my idols-

-Myself (This is my biggest)

-Friends

-TV

-Food

-Music

-Grades

None of these things are bad in themselves.  Actually, on their own, they are gifts from God, given to us for our enjoyment. The problem becomes when these things impede on our relationship with God. That’s when they become our objects of worship.

We need to focus more on God and less on ourselves. That’s what God wanted for the Israelites and it’s what He wants for us. He wants us to love Him above anything else in the world. And why shouldn’t we? After all, He has given us everything. We should love the giver, and not the gifts. 

Where's Your Light?

I love inspiring quotes. They lift me up and make me think in a better way than I was. They allow me to see the world from someone else’s point of view that I may never have considered before. They cheer me up and I can use them to oftentimes encourage others.

I have one quote however that really makes me think. It makes me hesitate, challenges me to think about how I’m living and what I’m living for.

The quote comes from John Keith Falconer.

"I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light"

On the surface, it doesn’t seem like much, but really look at it. Every believer is a light in the world and we are called to share that light with others. In Matthew, we are told to let our light shine before men.

This quote also goes right along with why I aspire to be a missionary. There are very few people here who haven’t at least heard about Christ or who don’t have any access to His Word. Even if they reject His light, they have a chance to accept it, because they can know it should they choose to seek it.

Other areas in the world don’t have this luxury. They have no light, no chance for any unless someone brings it to them.

“But Rachel, living in the darkness doesn’t sound fun or safe.”

No. It doesn’t. It’s scary and safety is far from guaranteed. But it’s so worth it.

Think about it, if the sun’s out and it’s already bright, do you waste the energy to turn on a light? Of course not. It’s a waste of power. You wait until the sun has lowered and you need to be able to see better.

Now if you think of life as a candle, all of the sudden, wanting to live in the darkness makes a lot of sense. In the light, another light is wasted. Life is wasted where it’s already bright.

I would rather live my life where it is useful and my light can shine bright and bring light to others instead of just showing people light that they see every day and shut out.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

I ask you if you will to think about not only just letting your light shine, but also about where you are letting it shine, and if you are letting it shine into an area where it is most needed.